I showed my mum a bunch of acts from the recently released Stereosonic lineup and asked her to tell me who she thought they were. These are her suggestions:
Me: Okay, first off…What is Stereosonic?
Mum: Um, I’ll have a guess…
Me: Yeah that’s fine!
Mum: …Music from another (surreal) world (space)…
Me: Stereosonic is the name of the music festival we are talking about.
Mum: Oh right, yeah.
Mum: Looks like a Dan.
Me: Dan who? What does he do?
Mum: Dan Shapiro. He is very obviously a poet.
Me: Yes, he’s very poetic. His name is Skrillex. He is, like, a dubstep guy. Do you know what dubstep is?
Mum: Nope…I think I will fail this test.
Me: What do you think it is?
Mum: I suppose it’s dance…it does give it away with the ‘step.’
Mum: Um…No idea. But I guess he is a muso. He plays bass.
Me: His name starts with a ‘T’.
Me: Tom who?
Mum: Tom Sharp.
Me: No, his name is Tiësto.
Mum: One word?
Me: Like Cher.
Me: These guys are a duo. What do you think they’re called?
Mum: Eyesore. One word. Two guys.
Me: Close. They’re called Disclosure.
Mum: How many people are you talking to for this?
Me: Just you…Ok. I’ll give you a hint for this one. They are named after a Chinese dish.
Mum: Egg Fu Mong.
Me: I have never heard of that.
Mum: They obviously sell jewelry and drink beer.
Me: From the look of things, yes. But remember, this is a music festival. They make music. They’re called Peking Duck.
Mum: Of course, now I see it in their faces.
Mum: How about we just call him ZEN.
Me: His name is Steve Aoki. Boring old Steve Aoki.
Me: Okay, who is this.
Mum: Should know this one!!!
Me: She is a girl, obviously.
Mum: I bet it’s a one word name…how about Kitty?
Me: Ah, okay. What does she do?
Me: Kitty the singer?
Me: She’s a DJ. Her name is Nina Las Vegas.
Mum: Oh well…I like her eye shadow.
Me: I’ll let her know.
Me: Who’s this?
Mum: Some silly girl who forgot her pants.
Mum: Her name is Rainbow.
Me: What does she do?
Mum: Writes a fashion blog.
Me: At a music festival?
Me: She’s a DJ. Her name is Tigerlily.
Mum: Okay…she has a great hair colourist.
Me: What does he do?
Mum: Muso, plays guitar.
Me: Alright and his name?
Mum: Adam Penn…I don’t know I’m feelin’ pretty stupid.
Me: Don’t feel stupid you’re not expected to know! His name is Duke Dumont.
So, here is the revised lineup:
- Airplane debris discovered Wednesday on the coast of the French island of Réunion "very likely" belongs to the same type of aircraft as missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak said.
- A University of Cincinnati officer has been charged with murder for shooting Samuel Dubose, an unarmed black man.
- Uber drivers waiting for ride requests near the International Airport of Mexico City were pelted with rocks, sticks, eggs, and flour on Wednesday. Local authorities are investigating the incident.