I showed my mum a bunch of acts from the recently released Stereosonic lineup and asked her to tell me who she thought they were. These are her suggestions:
Me: Okay, first off…What is Stereosonic?
Mum: Um, I’ll have a guess…
Me: Yeah that’s fine!
Mum: …Music from another (surreal) world (space)…
Me: Stereosonic is the name of the music festival we are talking about.
Mum: Oh right, yeah.
Mum: Looks like a Dan.
Me: Dan who? What does he do?
Mum: Dan Shapiro. He is very obviously a poet.
Me: Yes, he’s very poetic. His name is Skrillex. He is, like, a dubstep guy. Do you know what dubstep is?
Mum: Nope…I think I will fail this test.
Me: What do you think it is?
Mum: I suppose it’s dance…it does give it away with the ‘step.’
Mum: Um…No idea. But I guess he is a muso. He plays bass.
Me: His name starts with a ‘T’.
Me: Tom who?
Mum: Tom Sharp.
Me: No, his name is Tiësto.
Mum: One word?
Me: Like Cher.
Me: These guys are a duo. What do you think they’re called?
Mum: Eyesore. One word. Two guys.
Me: Close. They’re called Disclosure.
Mum: How many people are you talking to for this?
Me: Just you…Ok. I’ll give you a hint for this one. They are named after a Chinese dish.
Mum: Egg Fu Mong.
Me: I have never heard of that.
Mum: They obviously sell jewelry and drink beer.
Me: From the look of things, yes. But remember, this is a music festival. They make music. They’re called Peking Duck.
Mum: Of course, now I see it in their faces.
Mum: How about we just call him ZEN.
Me: His name is Steve Aoki. Boring old Steve Aoki.
Me: Okay, who is this.
Mum: Should know this one!!!
Me: She is a girl, obviously.
Mum: I bet it’s a one word name…how about Kitty?
Me: Ah, okay. What does she do?
Me: Kitty the singer?
Me: She’s a DJ. Her name is Nina Las Vegas.
Mum: Oh well…I like her eye shadow.
Me: I’ll let her know.
Me: Who’s this?
Mum: Some silly girl who forgot her pants.
Mum: Her name is Rainbow.
Me: What does she do?
Mum: Writes a fashion blog.
Me: At a music festival?
Me: She’s a DJ. Her name is Tigerlily.
Mum: Okay…she has a great hair colourist.
Me: What does he do?
Mum: Muso, plays guitar.
Me: Alright and his name?
Mum: Adam Penn…I don’t know I’m feelin’ pretty stupid.
Me: Don’t feel stupid you’re not expected to know! His name is Duke Dumont.
So, here is the revised lineup:
- California Republican Kevin McCarthy has dropped out of the race to be the next speaker of the U.S. House. ›
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›
- It could take more than a year for Volkswagen to fix all its cars with diesel engines rigged to evade emissions tests, the company's U.S. CEO said. ›