The Lineup Of Stereosonic As Guessed By A Mum

“Music from another (surreal) world (space)!”

I showed my mum a bunch of acts from the recently released Stereosonic lineup and asked her to tell me who she thought they were. These are her suggestions:

Me: Okay, first off…What is Stereosonic?
Mum: Um, I’ll have a guess…
Me: Yeah that’s fine!
Mum: …Music from another (surreal) world (space)…
Me: Okay…

Me: Stereosonic is the name of the music festival we are talking about.
Mum: Oh right, yeah.

Skrillex - “Dan Shipiro.”

Jordan Strauss/Invision / AP

Mum: Looks like a Dan.
Me: Dan who? What does he do?
Mum: Dan Shapiro. He is very obviously a poet.
Me: Yes, he’s very poetic. His name is Skrillex. He is, like, a dubstep guy. Do you know what dubstep is?
Mum: Nope…I think I will fail this test.
Me: What do you think it is?
Mum: I suppose it’s dance…it does give it away with the ‘step.’

Tiësto - “Tom Sharp.”

Facebook: tiesto

Mum: Um…No idea. But I guess he is a muso. He plays bass.
Me: His name starts with a ‘T’.
Mum: Tom.
Me: Tom who?
Mum: Tom Sharp.
Me: No, his name is Tiësto.
Mum: One word?
Me: Like Cher.

Disclosure - “Eyesore.”

Facebook: disclosureuk

Me: These guys are a duo. What do you think they’re called?
Mum: Eyesore. One word. Two guys.
Me: “Eyesore?”
Mum: Yep.
Me: Close. They’re called Disclosure.

Peking Duck - “Egg Fu Mong.”

Facebook: pekingduk

Mum: How many people are you talking to for this?
Me: Just you…Ok. I’ll give you a hint for this one. They are named after a Chinese dish.
Mum: Egg Fu Mong.
Me: I have never heard of that.
Mum: They obviously sell jewelry and drink beer.
Me: From the look of things, yes. But remember, this is a music festival. They make music. They’re called Peking Duck.
Mum: Of course, now I see it in their faces.

Mum: How about we just call him ZEN.
Me: “ZEN?”
Mum: Yes.
Me: His name is Steve Aoki. Boring old Steve Aoki.

Nina Las Vegas - “Kitty.”

Facebook: ninalasvegas

Me: Okay, who is this.
Mum: Should know this one!!!
Me: She is a girl, obviously.
Mum: I bet it’s a one word name…how about Kitty?
Me: Ah, okay. What does she do?
Mum: Singer.
Me: Kitty the singer?
Mum: Yes.
Me: She’s a DJ. Her name is Nina Las Vegas.
Mum: Oh well…I like her eye shadow.
Me: I’ll let her know.

Me: Who’s this?
Mum: Some silly girl who forgot her pants.
Me: Hmmm….
Mum: Her name is Rainbow.
Me: What does she do?
Mum: Writes a fashion blog.
Me: At a music festival?
Mum: Oh.
Me: She’s a DJ. Her name is Tigerlily.
Mum: Okay…she has a great hair colourist.

Duke Dumont - “Adam Penn.”

Facebook: DukeDumont

Me: What does he do?
Mum: Muso, plays guitar.
Me: Alright and his name?
Mum: Adam Penn…I don’t know I’m feelin’ pretty stupid.
Me: Don’t feel stupid you’re not expected to know! His name is Duke Dumont.

So, here is the revised lineup:

Damn, I’d go to that.

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Brad Esposito is a staff writer for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney, Australia.
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