49 Thoughts Everyone Has While Shopping At Bunnings

Sausage sizzle or death.

1. Man I want a sausage sizzle.
2. I hope there’s a sausage sizzle.
3. No sausage sizzle?!
4. Fuck my life.
5. Ugh it smells so good in here.
6. It’s like a mixture of chalk and WD40…
7. Okay, all you need to buy is nails.
8. Just nails.
9. Ooooh duct tape is only $1.38!
10. I’ll just get five of those…
11. Why is everyone that works here either a teenager or really really old?
12. How hard can it be to find nails.
13. No I don’t want your help.
14. Wait, shit, where am I?
15. Come back! I need your help.
16. Why is the roof so high? Is that really necessary?
17. If I pushed one of those shelves would it be like a giant row of dominos?
18. All the spray paint is locked up? Damn kids.
19. Okay so there’s one kid at the help desk scratching his ass…
20. Where’s the real help?
21. He’s wearing an apron I guess. So that’s cute.
22. I wanna go play with the fake kitchens.
23. This lighting section is pretty cool.
24. Imagine if I owned ALL these lights. My house would be so badass.
25. I should be wearing boots. I don’t fit in here.
26. Oh look at all these paint colour strips!
27. I’ll need that one…and that one…and that one…
28. Eggshell isn’t a colour.
29. Why is there just a forklift machine in the middle of this section?
30. Seriously no one’s using it?
31. I could drive off with that.
32. These shelves are WAY too high.
33. What if I needed something from the very top? What then?
34. Is there like a hangout up there?
35. Why is everything priced in an odd number?
36. $36.86?
37. $112.51??
38. Who needs this many different versions of a hammer?
39. So what’s the deal with the gardening section? No roof?
40. If it rains we all just get wet? Okay.
41. So there’s like 22 checkout lanes?
42. And only one of them is open. That’s just great.
43. What is this kid doing?
44. Why do six AA batteries cost the same as a bottle of water here?
45. They don’t do bags?
46. Then how am I meant to…Oh.
47. Boxes.
48. I just have to put all my shit in boxes.
49. Fucking fantastic.

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