1. First, watch this:
Just a bunch of Australian 8th graders tryin’ to live their lives drug-free.
2. It all starts with two friends just trying to play a game of 8-ball.
Yes - I’m aware of the pun.
4. We find out pretty quickly that he’s a bad influence.
Come on man, leave the kids alone.
5. Luckily ‘James’ is able to quickly defuse the situation.
He’s got enough troubles in his life already. You know, like that math exam on his 12 times-tables.
6. And it turns out that Mr.Drugdealer was only joking!
I’m sure we’ll NEVER see that guy again.
8. Now we’re with James again. This time he’s with his girlfriend.
Things seem pretty serious between them.
9. She offers him some ‘pills’ to give him some energy.
This poor guy just can’t escape the drug culture that is rapidly wrapping itself around him.
10. But no! He’s a strong man and he’s going to have fun without it.
Good for you mate. Good for you.
12. In probably the quickest plot-twist of all time, James is shaking some kid called ‘Mark.’
Things don’t look good.
13. We cut to outside where the party continues to rage.
Is that Coke AND Fanta? My God.
14. James rushes in. It’s just as we expected. 8th Grader Mark has “Od’d.” Apparently.
15. James’ girlfriend lets the cat out of the bag. Mark was doing “a lot of drugs earlier today.”
WHY DIDN’T YOU DO ANYTHING
22. It’s the drug dealer from before!
Sick bastard didn’t even get changed.
24. We cut back to this perfectly normal party.
Because when I go to a party, everyone stands in a perfect U-shape around a girl on a couch.
25. James’ girlfriend is not having a good time.
This poor kid just can’t get a break.
31. Anyway, James is NOT okay with how his girlfriend is acting.
And why should he be? This girl’s trouble.
32. Suddenly, the adult shows up.
Who apparently doesn’t have issues with the 8th graders drinking in his house BUT YOU BETTER NOT TAKE DRUGS.
33. We cut to a completely different angle and he tells James’ girlfriend she’s gotta go.
34. It’s the next day at school and James has had enough. It’s time to break up with his girlfriend…via text message.
35. James’ (ex) girlfriend reads the text and realises she’s stuffed up.
“oh my god.”
36. Luckily, her friends are able to condole her.
If by ‘condole’ you mean ‘tell her she has a problem but offer no solutions.”
37. Time for another MOTHERFUCKIN’ TRANSITION.
39. And, as is often the case, there’s a bad egg in the bunch.
“I’ve got some pot here.”
40. Thankfully they all spurn her advances
You’re right girl! Your mom WOULD have known.
42. Now we’re back with James’ ex-girlfriend and her friends.
“hahaha oh my God that’s so funny.”
44. He offers these “pretty girls” some drugs. As we’ve come to expect.
45. They all reject him. Even the girl that was offering pot to her friends in the previous scene!
People DO change!
48. Apparently the best way to deal with a drug dealer is to yell “noooo way.”
Mark = stud.
49. Then the drug dealer tries to sneakily sell to Mark’s mates. But they aren’t keen because they “might need their little man later.”
51. Oh look, Mark’s in a car dealership.
He’s gone from “ODing” to buying a car - all in the same day!
52. And then look who it is! You guessed it. This guy never gives up.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been shopping for a car only to be RUDELY PROPOSITIONED to buy crack cocaine. Mark is not impressed.
54. And then the narrator comes in and tells us this is “Rodney” getting his new dream car. Rodney? What? Does Mark have a twin?
And do they always wear the same clothes?
55. Also why is everyone okay with the fact that a 13 year old just bought a $30,000 car?!
Two words. Drug Money
57. And then something we already knew. Gamers don’t need drugs to escape their reality - they have video games.
60. And then this lazy drug dealer decides to try and sell drugs to BOTH the farmer AND the cow.
“Nah mate, my cows are on a different type of weed.”
61. Finally, a last discussion.
This is the part where you realise you could have just watched the last 15 seconds and walked away happy.