The 21 Stages Of Your Australia Day.

The 3rd greatest day in the world. Following Christmas and my birthday. Obviously.

1. You wake up at 8am so you can be ready for your pre-pre-pre drinks.

Ah ‘pre-pre-pre’ drinks…the only thing I like more is ‘pre-pre’ drinks.

2. Once you’re there you start off with a ‘Champagne Breakfast.’

3. Which is more ‘Champagne’ than ‘Breakfast.’

4. One of your friends has to go to work.

On a public holiday lol.

5. But - no matter - it’s time to go to pre-pre drinks.

6. You’ve got to get there in time to hear the start of “The Hottest 100 Countdown.”

7. Even though you know your favourite songs never get the recognition they deserve.

8. Whatever - Alcohol on the beach will help you forget.

9. Around this time your parents call to tell you about “the boats on the harbour” or something…

10. You get off the phone and see one of your friends has blown up an inflatable pool and filled it with drinks.

11. It’s about now you all realise you forgot to apply sunscreen.

Imagine him in red though.

12. Whatever - Alcohol.

13. You are getting increasingly proud of your decision to get work off tomorrow.

14. Someone asks you who won ‘Australian of the Year.’

15. And a friend sends you a photo from Big Day Out.

16. Time to leave the pre-pre drinks at the beach and head to pre-drinks at your friends house.

17. You think you’ll hear the last 20 songs on ‘The Hottest 100’ but it never gets played.

18. Its 7pm and your television plays the fireworks.

STOP. THE. NOISE.

19. Your vision is beginning to blur and you worry you wont make it out to The City.

20. No! You have to push through this!

21. You pass out, fall asleep, and wake up the next day wondering where it all went wrong…

There’s always next year!

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