A Hipster’s Guide To Halloween Costumes

What possible costumes could there be that haven’t already been thrown into the mainstream? Here’s 10 possibilities.

1. The absence of color.

To most people at the party you’d just look like a guy wearing all white. A sort of Jehovah’s Witness without the tie. But all your ‘independent’ friends would know that you are actually expressing more than that. You are the absence of color.

Likely conversation:
“I came as The Hulk.”
“That’s cool man. I’m a witch!”
“What are you Jeremiah?”
“Oh me? I’m nothin’ special. Just the absence of color.”

BOOM

2. Ginevra de’ Benci (by Leonardo Da Vinci)

This is just so all those fake people that come dressed as Van Gogh or The Mona Lisa look like fools. If you do it right no one should know you even dressed up.

“Oh Catherine honey, why didn’t you at least come as a ghost? Dress up a little.”

Fuckin’ losers…

3. Something intangible.

Ideas include - Chaos, Love, Hate, War, Apathy and Genocide.

I’ll admit, this is a hard one to pull off.

4. A Video Tape.

First vinyl, then cassettes. I’m calling it - Video Tapes are coming back. Make sure you get in ahead of the curve so that by the time they really are back you can say they’re not cool any more.

5. A not-for-profit organisation.

You know - Greenpeace, Amnesty International. Go dressed up as those bad boys and you’ll not only look like a charitable motherfucker but also be insightful and modest at the same time.

6. One of those things that gets imprinted onto a table when you leave your coffee mug on it for too long.

Yeh, those things. Go to your party as one of them.

7. A “GIF”

That’s right. And no GIF in particular. Just go as a “GIF” and only move in three different patterns.

8. Dust.

This one’s pretty easy. Just cover yourself in double-sided tape and roll on the floor.

9. Wrinkles.

So i’m thinking for this idea you cover yourself with partially cooked bacon that’s now gone all wrinkly. Or you could go all Buffalo Bill and make yourself a suit out of other peoples skin. But that’s not advised.

10. And finally - An ironic ghost.

Nothing’s more ironic than taking on a classic. Trust me - give it a go.

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