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5 People That Can Be Australia’s Answer To Miley Cyrus.

Because we need a Miley in the Southern Hemisphere.

1. Miranda Kerr.

Recently divorced, recently single. What better way for Miranda to show her ‘bad girl’ attitude than to don a teddy-bear one-piece next time she hits the surf? Or maybe (and this a big maybe) she could get a show on network television and craft herself a kid friendly alter-ego. “Sheila Twain.” “Miranda Mcdonald.” “Hannah Lantana.”

2. Kerri-Anne Kennerley.

BECAUSE WE NEED THIS. Can you imagine the backlash she’d receive? The ruckus she would stir? The pot she would boil? Kerri-Anne’s star has been fading lately, and she could take a lot of advice from Miley on how to ‘truly’ invigorate one’s career. Her morning show would become a thing of beauty - pole dancing lessons, random photo-shoots with quasi-celebrity photographers and the 30 second advertising promo (of course.)

3. Iain Hewitson.

Hey now. No one said it had to be a girl. Except you and your now confirmed sexist brain. Personally I can’t wait to see ol’ Huey “sexing up the kitchen.” Just imagine him licking a sledge hammer. Although I suppose his sledge hammer would be a wooden spoon.

4. Gretel Killeen.

Because where did she go? I need her snarky anecdotes back in my life, and this would be the prefect opportunity for her. She’d gain money, fame AND wouldn’t even have to be on Big Brother. Which is a massive plus.

5. Alan Jones.

Oh mercy. I would never, ever, ever leave Australia if this happened. Suppose one day Mr. Jones grows tired of his staunch political views and journalistic bullying and instead decides to turn towards the only thing he can really relate to anymore - “ratchet.”
The world would stand on it’s head as Alan stamped around Sydney giving a new meaning to the term “Shock Jock.”

Your Suggestions -

The gauntlet has been thrown out. It’s time to jump into the water with both feet and make one of our many C-grade celebrities commit to this redesign. Who do you think has it in them?

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