35 Things That Give You Road Rage

SO. MUCH. ANGER.

1. When you let someone into traffic and they don’t wave.

2. When the person in front of you is driving really slow because they are READING A FUCKING BOOK.

3. Or checking their phone.

4. Or doing their make-up.

5. Or shaving.

My road rage ain’t sexist.

6. When the car in front of you keeps tapping their brakes and you’re like:

7. And then the light goes yellow and they slam on their brakes instead of coasting through like a normal person.

8. When you’re driving down a one-way street and someone starts ILLEGALLY heading towards you.

9. And they look at you like:

10. When someone does a 3-point turn in the middle of a busy intersection.

11. The pain you feel when you see a car with those “my family” stickers.

12. When someone steals your parking space.

13. When you spend AGES looking for a car spot and you think you’ve finally found one only to see someone has parked their 1935 Mini Cooper in it.

14. Old people driving.

15. Young people driving.

16. People driving in general, really.

17. When you pull up next to someone who was driving like a moron to give them the evil eye and they PRETEND to not see you.

18. When someone is driving like a snail in front of you but MIRACULOUSLY speeds up when you try to overtake them.

19. When someone forgets they have their indicator on and it STAYS ON forever.

ARE YOU FUCKING TURNING OR NOT?!

20. When people SLOW DOWN to see the results of an accident.

MOVE OR YOU’LL HAVE AN ACCIDENT OF YOUR OWN TO DEAL WITH.

21. When people who aren’t OVERTAKING drive in the OVERTAKING LANE.

IT’S CALLED THE “OVERTAKING LANE” FOR A REASON YOU DICK-EYE.

22. When you’re running late for work and it seems like everyone with an IQ of 2 has decided to drive that day.

25. RV’s/Caravans.

26. People who don’t indicate when turning.

It’s not “optional.”

27. Cyclists

If you’re gonna complain about not being respected then DON’T go through that red light like it’s no big deal.

28. Anyone with the bumper stickers “Queen Bitch,” “Magic Happens,” “My son/daughter is on the honour role at…” and FLOWER DECALS.

I GET IT. YOU’RE INTRINSIC AND CUTE. I DON’T CARE.

29. When you get stuck behind a truck going up a hill.

30. Somebody tailgating you.

31. When some punk-ass kid goes out of his way to make sure you can’t merge into his lane.

I’m just gonna merge anyway dude. I don’t give a fuck about your car or mine.

32. Jaywalkers.

I WILL RUN YOU DOWN.

33. Kids who play racquet-ball or hopscotch or whatever the youths do nowadays RIGHT ON THE ROAD.

34. People who drive convertibles with the top down when it’s not even hot.

This might just be a personal pet-peeve.

35. And finally - when someone else drives your car.

What are you doing?! That’s not the hand brake! Wait…don’t adjust my mirrors!

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