18 Characters You See At The Melbourne Cup.

The biggest race of the year! Excusing our race for survival, obviously.

1. Horse-Man.

Of course. Every time. Every time.

2. Early Mardi-Gras guy.

“No, no - I need that fascinator. I don’t want to look like a fool.”

3. Pink Suit Man.

His suit could also be fluorescent green/yellow/orange, and he’ll almost definitely be sitting in front of you.

4. The Aftermath.

Alas, we’ve all been here. Not all of us were in heels, though.

5. Mr Universe.

STOP! Do not be fooled! That figure standing in the centre is NOT Miss Universe. Trust me, you don’t want to go there.

6. The Girls Who Took It A Bit Too Far…

I have a tree like that in my backyard.

7. The Self-Appointed King And Queen.

8. The Women “Breaking Fashion’s Rules.”

Pants are so 2K12.

9. The Men “Breaking Fashion’s Rules.”

10. The “Didn’t See The Race” Trio.

Coincidently all wearing the colours of our nation’s flag.

11. The Newlyweds.

Ah, love.

12. These Lil’ Guys.

There’s seven of them. That’s a fact. Not a joke. There’s just seven jockeys against a wall. Nothing implied.

13. The Queen.

She shows up sometimes. No big deal.

14. Horses.

Well, duh.

15. Wally.

Or Waldo, whatever.

16. The Person Already Prepping For Later Tonight.

17. The “Celebrities.”

They try their best.

18. The Runway Models.

Go away. You’re just making us feel bad.

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