That’s right. The very thing you’re using right now to read this was ‘made in Oz.’ Unless you’re still using Dial-up and if so my gifs are gonna give you a real hard time. Sure, the surroundings behind ‘who invented what’ and ‘why he invented that’ are controversial - but we hold the patents for it! So it’s ours!
2. The World’s First Ice-Making Machine & Refrigerator.
I guess it’s fitting that a country so obsessed with alcohol was the first to figure out a way to keep said alcohol cold. But still - can you imagine inventing an ice-making machine in 1856? Well James Harrison could. And he did. He was lucky he wasn’t burnt at the stake.
3. The Notepad.
Yep. Whilst the rest of the world were being fucking primates and throwing around their loose sheets of paper like a fucking volleyball J.A Birchall had the brilliant idea to stick a few of them together with some cardboard. You’re welcome, rest of world.
4. The Feature Film.
Boom. Australia knocks it out of the fucking park again! The worlds first feature length film was a little piece of work called “The Story Of The Kelly Gang.” The Kelly Gang were like Australia’s equivalent of Jesse James - and he only had Brad Pitt play him in a movie like, 4 years ago? Pathetic.
5. The Digital Sampler.
NONE of you kids would have any of your fuckin’ Skrillex if it weren’t for some Australian folks with good attitudes. The Fairlight CMI was the first polyphonic digital music sampling synthesiser ever. EVER.
6. The Bionic Ear.
Aren’t you glad that when you get old and go deaf us Australians would have been looking out for you? Professor Graeme Clark invented that motherfucka’ in 1979. I bet most of you weren’t even born then.
7. The Tank.
You idiots. Before South Australian Lance de Mole suggested the basic idea of a Tank to his senior officers in the British Armed Forces you were all runnin’ around like a bunch of ants. Well - I got news for you. YOU WERE ANTS. But not any more baby! You’re welcome.
Australia’s “Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation” - yeh I know you don’t have one - created a new strain of Barley known only as a SUPERGRAIN. This SUPERGRAIN has twice the dietary fibre of regular grains, four times the resistant starch AND has a low GI. Motherfucker.
10. The Electric Drill.
You know when you’re trying to drill something and your wrists get sore from all the clockwise movement? OF COURSE YOU DON’T! And that’s all thanks to Arthur James Arnot - who invented this bad motherfucker to assist him in drilling into rock and coal. He had no idea what an impact he would have on the world.