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Balantine
 
I am the internet.
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  • Cat And I, Internetting

    Do you ever internet with you cat? If you answer, “Yes!” to this question, then post a picture of you internetting with your furry buddy. Best pic wins a book deal!

    Balantine a year ago respond

  • Top 11 Dudes With Beards Eating Cupcakes

    I’ve culled this list of dudes from the world’s soon-to-be-next internet tumblr-to-bookdeal sensation: Dudes With Beards Eating Cupcakes

    • Number 11

      This dude probably didn't need anymore cupcakes.

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  • Cartwheeling Goalie Meets Perfect Opponent

    I thought I knew where this was going. Goalie does Cartwheels before a penalty kick. At first I thought his cleats were going to get stuck in the net and the guy was going to score. Then I began to think he was going to save the ball with a cartwheel, which would have been awesome. Instead, real life intervened and the goalie got to feel the wrath of the Cartwheel as decorative flourish.

  • Hey There Delilah Vs. Aunt Jemima

    Sometimes a YouTube parody hit can be a major boon to an Old World, flour-and-water brand name. In this case, it turns into a sexed-up, slightly racist mess, combining young white men, Aunt Jemima, and the Plain White Tee’s hit “Delilah”

    • 1. Pour the Bottle Over Me

      Pretty honest take, but this whole song is about boning Aunt Jemima. Gross.

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  • The Daft Punk Bodies of Youtube, Top 10

    Here, for your viewing pleasure, are the Top 10 remakes of the original Daft Punk Bodies video. Selections were made on the basis of WTF, OMG, TRASHY, LOL, and dance skillz.

    • The Original, with over 6.5 million views

      This humble web video is a star. Two girls, not a lot of clothing, a kick-ass soundtrack, and a sick dance routine. It spawned a genre of youtube clones, the best of which I am about to reveal.

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  • 4chan Banned Me for Being Half Black, Half Woman

    The illustrious, mysterious message board “4chan” has banned me from looking at it’s boards because I am black. And a woman. In equal 50-50 measures. I hereby resolve to BOYCOTT the 4chan until such a time as either they have REVISED their RACIST and SEXIST policies, or until the internet embraces a non-racist non-sexist attitude towards ALL PEOPLE.

    Balantine 4 years ago 1 response

  • Prop 8 is a Gay

    The first official musical response to Prop 8 is that Prop 8 is gay and these guys want to fuck it in the ass.

  • My Spidey Sense is Tingling!

    Quick! Save the ducklings! The van is going to run them over! Somebody, anybody, HELP! Oh, who will come to the aid of these poor little ducklin—-WTF!!!!!!

    My Spidey Sense is Tingling!
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