1. @sockington
CURRENT STATUS: cat
SUMMERTIME AND THE LIVING IS FRANKLY EQUALLY EASY #didntchoosethecatlifeitchoseme
Sockington is a really, really handsome cat. He swings between aggravated panic to unexpected drowsiness, making for a wide variety of kitty tweets.
Benefits: The euphoric feeling of talking to an attractive person if that attractive person were a cat.
2. @lyricalsloth
everybody was sloth-fu fighting
If you ever wondered how to gain a strong Twitter following, look no further than this lyrical sloth. Step one: Replace song lyrics with the word "sloth." And… you're done.
Benefits: A rediscovered appreciation for original song lyrics and a better understanding of sloth culture.
3. @RudyTheParrot
I really think he captured my good side WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'IS IT AIRBRUSHED'
Rudy is the parrot equivalent of that aunt that drinks heavily and insults you to cover up for the fact that she doesn't know you very well.
Benefits: Some unnecessary internet news updates and an appreciation for the limited access a parrot has to the floor.
4. @WeirdHorse
Lol early to bed, early to rise
There is no other Twitter account that will bring you both barnyard pun parodies AND original musicals. It's nothing to neigh say.
Benefits: Some new jams and an appreciation for the fine art of farm humor.
5. @dogsdoingthings
[illustration with thanks to @aaronschachter]
Dogs doing things is so much more than canine action — it's existential poetry. Because dogs are the harbingers of postmodern thought.
Benefits: An education.
6. @TeaPartyCat
Still need a gift for Christmas? Try @RobDelaney's book. He's a personal friend of mine, as you can see:
This cat says it all: "I was never a Reagan Democrat — I've always been a Colbert Conservative." Watch out!
Benefits: Sassy political jokes and somewhat inaccurate reporting.
7. @RealStonedPanda
Haters Gonna Hate
This panda is just kicking back and making some serious delirious notations about the world as it spins.
Benefits: A lot of reasons how the man is keeping you down. Like a lot.
8. @horsedetective
Beautiful illustration by @ICFADCO of a recent horse detective scene: // Original tweet here: http://t.co/QaE3nbclDm
A detective who is also a horse… who tweets about being mediocre at both.
Benefits: There are some funny tweets in there, right?
9. @PigeonJon
Saw Piers Morgan Today. Yep. Ruined his Picnic.
Jon is a pigeon (in case you didn't realize). He is the foremost pigeon's rights scholar that is also a pigeon.
Benefits: Working knowledge of pigeon news and pigeon interest stories.
10. @CatFoodBreath
Wouldn't be a Twitter roundup without a funny cat completing the list. This cat gives life advice that you can take from the litter box straight to your day-to-day.
Benefits: Great resource for all the cat memes you've been missing in your life.
11. @BronxZoosCobra
Looks like everyone is doing that ice bucket challenge. http://t.co/8pobLxA7sV
This cobra once escaped from the Bronx Zoo then made headlines when he returned unscathed with more wisdom and a better grasp on what it means to be a snake.
Benefits: Fun insider info about the Bronx Zoo and some cute misinterpretations of snake jokes.
Catch the premiere of @BoJackHorseman August 22 on Netflix.
The poster for my new Netflix show. Not the tasteful nude of me and Scarlett Johansson that I proposed. But, OK.
who do i have to buck to get some followers around here?