Why Tea Is Obviously Better Than Coffee

Coffee is just brown bean-water. Brown bean-water that makes you poop.

1. Everyone thinks coffee is sooooo great.

There are people who will be so mesmerized by this GIF that they’ll stare at it forever and salivate all over their keyboards and forget about their jobs and loved ones and eventually die where they sit.

2. But let’s be real here: Tea kicks coffee’s ass.

People who like this GIF will drink a cup of tea and then get back to being painters and astronauts and novelists and presidents and British and Ryan Gosling, who only drinks tea.*

*One assumes.

3. This truth should be pretty self-evident. But in case you need convincing:

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