First Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice was caught on tape verbally and physically abusing his players, which led to his firing and eventually the firing of his boss, athletic director Tim Pernetti. Then Rutgers introduced proud alum Eddie Jordan as Rice’s replacement only for Deadspin to reveal that Jordan had never graduated from Rutgers despite the school’s many claims to the contrary. And then they hired a new athletic director, Julie Hermann, who finally got everything under control. Just kidding: Hermann immediately became the subject of a Newark Star-Ledger exposé which reported that she’d quit coaching the Tennessee volleyball team to go into athletic administration in the 1990s after her team unanimously told the Tennessee athletic department, via letter, that it would no longer play for her because of abusive behavior.
The letter accused Hermann of “mental cruelty,” the Star-Ledger says, including a variety of humiliating “motivational” tactics like denying them showers after losses. One player told the paper Hermann had hit her in the stomach during a huddle. The real takeaway line, though, was the letter’s contention that Hermann had disparagingly called team members “whores” and “alcoholics.” This may be the most chilling detail of the entire affair, especially to Rutgers fans who had been hoping Hermann might help take the school’s teams to the next level of competitive excellence. It really calls her judgment into serious question. Doesn’t Julie Hermann realize that some of the greatest athletes in history were whores and alcoholics?
3. For example:
4. Babe Ruth: King Of Home Runs And Venereal Disease
Loved the ladies. The baseball above represents his liver.
5. Tiger Woods: Stopped Winning Majors After Ending His Affair With A Perkins Waitress
6. Wilt Chamberlain: Scored More Than Just Basket-Hoops
Get it? Because he “scored” by having intercourse with strangers. Three points! Or two? How many points does sex count for? Let’s say it’s 500 points.
7. Mickey Mantle: Boozed-Out Man-Skank
Legendary drinker. Told Yankees in official correspondence that his favorite home-stadium memory was getting a BJ under the bleachers.
8. Antonio Cromartie: Can’t Remember All His Childrens’ Names Which Is Actually A Lot More Tragic Than Funny
9. Charles Barkley: Told Officer Arresting Him For DUI That He Was In A Hurry To Get A Blow Job
Yep. Also once threw a dude through the front window of a bar.
10. Pheidippides, The Original Marathoner
Did he die at the end of his 26-mile run from the plains of Marathon to Athens because he was tired, or because he was incredibly wasted? And why wasn’t he wearing pants? It’s no coincidence Greeks basically invented sports AND wine AND pansexual orgies.
Basically, Julie Hermann is saying she’d turn down a talented athlete who wanted to play for Rutgers just because they happened to drink 400 beers a day or were a sweaty, libidinous sex freak. Can you imagine Ohio State passing up a five-star defensive lineman just for something dumb like that? Rutgers has no chance in the Big Ten.