Response to Which “Goonies” Character Are You?:
Response to 36 White People Who Need To Be Stopped:
I think it’s a bit harsh referring to human beings as “garbage.” Derpy? Sure. I would reserve a term like “garbage” for idk, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, bigots who act on their bigotry. But some derpy weirdos? Way harsh, Tai. Also, since the authors are white, I am pretty sure this is less racist and more poking fun at one’s own cultural derpiness, a thing that I’m sure all cultures can appreciate.
Response to The Woes Of Wearing Glasses:
1.Get over it, it’s a movie, not a photo op. No one is looking at you.
2.Wear contacts, buy prescription shades, or get over it
3-6. I have been wearing glasses my whole life and I have never had my glasses fog up from drinking a cup of coffee. You ppl are doing this shit wrong. Try entering and exiting a walk in cooler or opening a commercial dishwasher (ok, any dishwasher), this will result in the dramatic fogging action you ppl find so traumatic.
7. Please, don’t care. Boys love my glasses and think they’re cute, so I get bonus kisses.
8-11. Real problems. This is real shit. Fuck this.
12. Stop complaining. Carry a cotton or microfiber towel.
13. This should be muscle memory for all of us by now. You don’t even realize you do it. Pushing your glasses up with your middle finger is also a fun, discreet way to flip a bird.
14. This is a beautiful thing. They are so much better than contacts. You’re just done at the end of the day, you don’t have to put them in special juice so you can put them back on your freaking corneas. Taking your glasses off at the end of the day is GREAT!
15. Alright, yeah, good times in any body of water are made a little inconvenient by glasses. But hey! At least you still have you know, a whole, functioning body with which to enjoy the pool and sun!
16. Showering blind? How blind?? So blind that you cannot pick up a bottle and read it less than two feet away from your face? Your problems are probably somewhat more serious than shower blindness, then.
17. Pay for the glare resistant coating. Deal with it. It’s a problem that comes with vision correction. Ppl in deep poverty cannot afford this coating. You’re very lucky, so stop taking that sweet glare resistant coating for granted.
18. This is a made up problem. The only time this is really an issue is when I am wearing a headset at work that places an 8 ounce battery pack directly on top of that very top frill of cartilage at the top of the ear. This pinches the ear between the HARD PLASTIC earpiece of the headset and my frames. This is not going to be a problem for you with your Beats by Dre headphones. I promise. If it’s that serious, earbuds. Stop complaining.
19. You picked the wrong glasses. You know damn well you’re going to wear those motherfuckers every day, all the time. They will adjust them for you at the store. Oh, they fit perfectly when you bought them? STOP FALLING ASLEEP ON THE COUCH WITH THEM ON.
20. How is taking one’s glasses off at the end of the day “it” for the day? Can you not put them back on? Did your hands stop working? I have turned down invites out on the town because I’ve already taken my contacts out. I can put my glasses back on if what you are proposing is exciting enough.
21. We’ve already gone over this. Stop falling asleep in your damn glasses. I think this is an issue of you don’t know how to take care of that very expensive thing sitting on your nose. Do you treat all your things this badly?
22. Alright, yeah, this happened to me once. It sucked. It happened because I bought a pair of frames that I loved but were slightly oversized. They fell, I stepped, I cried. Wanna know what I did next? SUPER GLUE AND A HELLO KITTY BAND AID, WUT.
For real. Stop bitching.
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