This Is How You Binge-Watch “House Of Cards” Season 2

Because you weren’t going to accomplish anything this President’s Day weekend anyway.

1. A push notification from Netflix alerts you that season two of “House of Cards” is now available!

And a follow-up email confirms it!

2. You immediately stock up on wine.

You won’t be leaving your house for a while…

3. You avoid Facebook and Twitter for fear of seeing spoilers.

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Although the few comments you’ve seen from single friends who had no Valentine’s Day plans let you know the first episode is really good!

4. You lie back, get comfortable, and dive right into Season 2.

This is gonna be great!

5. You immediately pause to brush up on what happened in the last few episodes of Season 1.

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Wait, who’s Raymond Tusk?

6. And… you’re ready to dive back in!

This is really gonna be great!

7. You think about how you can incorporate the dialogue into your everyday conversations.

So quotable!

8. You blink, and then — Zoe Barnes !!!!!

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And suddenly you’re hooked all over again.

9. You need more wine!

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“Just hook it to my veins!”

10. You pause to Google: “is the ‘deep web’ real?”

It is!

11. You immediately delete your search history for fear of government surveillance.

Sorry, but the FBI isn’t actually interested in knowing which YouTube videos you “accidentally clicked on.”

12. You consider stopping, but the next episode automatically starts playing.

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Just one more…

13. You pause to Google: “can senators really be arrested and forced to go to work?”

They can! Just ask Bob Packwood.

14. Suddenly there’s no turning back — the show has you by the balls.

You cancel plans. You stop answering your phone. House of Cards is now in control of your life.

15. You force yourself to stay awake for one more episode.

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It’s getting so good!

16. You pause to Google: “Zoe Barnes topless photos”

Just make sure you delete your search history after.

17. The realization you only have a few episodes left sends you into a profound depression.

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But you can’t stop now!

18. You finally finish the season.

It’s over. You’re free — but at what cost?

19. You question your life’s meaning.

Where do you go from here?

20. You Google: “House of Cards Season 3 premiere date”

It’s gonna be a long wait…

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