24 Signs Your New Dog Is Really Your Practice Baby

Because we’re on to you, newlywed couples.

1. You post everything your dog does on Facebook, no matter how trivial.

2. You panic when your dog doesn’t reach certain developmental milestones.

3. When your dog does something wrong, you’re not mad — just disappointed.

4. You wish your dog would spend less time watching TV, and more time learning new tricks.

5. You buy your dog expensive birthday presents.

6. You dress your dog up for Halloween.

7. You talk to your dog in a high-pitched baby voice.

8. You realized how unsafe your home would be for a baby after puppy-proofing your house…

9. …and you’re overly mindful of which household objects are within your dog’s reach.

10. You share parenting tips with other dog owners at the dog park.

11. You sometimes let your dog eat with you at the table…

12. …but you’re overly concerned about your dog’s eating habits…

13. …and even more concerned about your dog’s pooping habits.

14. You have a well-established good-cop, bad-cop routine for disciplining your dog.

15. You nurture your dog’s talents and interests.

16. Your dog has gotten you used to the occasional sleepless night.

17. You find everything your dog does endearing — even the things that annoy other people.

18. You wish your dog would learn to stand up to bullies.

19. You worry about your dog’s happiness as much as your own.

20. You hope one day your dog will find someone nice to settle down with…

21. …because someday you’d like to have grand-puppies.

22. You argue over which side of the family your dog inherited its strange habits from.

23. Your dog completely changed your life for the better…

24. …and you love your dog more than anything else in the world.

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