24 Signs Your New Dog Is Really Your Practice Baby

Because we’re on to you, newlywed couples.

1. You post everything your dog does on Facebook, no matter how trivial.

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2. You panic when your dog doesn’t reach certain developmental milestones.

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3. When your dog does something wrong, you’re not mad — just disappointed.

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4. You wish your dog would spend less time watching TV, and more time learning new tricks.

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5. You buy your dog expensive birthday presents.

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6. You dress your dog up for Halloween.

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7. You talk to your dog in a high-pitched baby voice.

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8. You realized how unsafe your home would be for a baby after puppy-proofing your house…

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9. …and you’re overly mindful of which household objects are within your dog’s reach.

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10. You share parenting tips with other dog owners at the dog park.

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11. You sometimes let your dog eat with you at the table…

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12. …but you’re overly concerned about your dog’s eating habits…

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13. …and even more concerned about your dog’s pooping habits.

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14. You have a well-established good-cop, bad-cop routine for disciplining your dog.

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15. You nurture your dog’s talents and interests.

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16. Your dog has gotten you used to the occasional sleepless night.

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17. You find everything your dog does endearing — even the things that annoy other people.

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18. You wish your dog would learn to stand up to bullies.

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19. You worry about your dog’s happiness as much as your own.

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20. You hope one day your dog will find someone nice to settle down with…

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21. …because someday you’d like to have grand-puppies.

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22. You argue over which side of the family your dog inherited its strange habits from.

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23. Your dog completely changed your life for the better…

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24. …and you love your dog more than anything else in the world.

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