1. Clarissa and Sam from Clarissa Explains It All
They may have gone on one disastrous date in the episode “A Little Romance” — in which Sam compared their awkward kiss to “kissing his sister” — but we all know, deep down, Clarissa hoped one night Sam would climb his ladder into her room, get into her bed, and whisper, “It’s always been you.”
2. Doug and Patti Mayonnaise from Doug
It’s hard to believe these two never went on a single date — although the wealth of Patti Mayonnaise lesbian fan-fiction on the internet may shed some light on the issue. Maybe they finally got together on the ABC/Disney reboot nobody watched.
3. Mo and Mike O’Malley from Guts
One has to wonder how many points these two would score on the Aggro Crag — rocks falling, steam sputtering. Back to you, Mo!
4. Pete and Ellen from The Adventures of Pete and Pete
Pete always saw Ellen as “a girl and a friend, but not a girlfriend” — but we always saw Ellen as a sure thing.
5. Brad and Ted from Hey Dude
Brad and Ted’s love-hate relationship drove viewers crazy for five seasons. Side note: no one knows what happened to Joe Torres, the actor who played Danny Lightfoot — not even the cast!
6. Jeff and Jody from Today’s Special
We always knew the reason Jody said, “hocus pocus alimagocus” and brought Jeff the mannequin to life every night was so he could take her away from a life of back-braking, department-store misery.
7. Arnold and Helga from Hey Arnold!
Helga waited until the Hey Arnold! movie to tell Arnold how she really felt, but even then nothing materialized.
8. Gary and Betty Ann from Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Gary may have pined for Sam (played by JoAnna Garcia), but most viewers could see Gary was a better match for Betty Ann — the only other member of the Midnight Society whose family didn’t suddenly “move away” at the beginning of a new season.
9. Ren and Stimpy from The Ren & Stimpy Show
10. Kirk Fogg and Olmec from Legends of the Hidden Temple
Olmec was obviously a power bottom.
11. Sharon, Lois, and Bram from The Elephant Show
The exact nature of their arrangement was the real “elephant in the room,” but unfortunately, on Nick Jr., a menage a tois was considered a skin-a-marinky dinky don’t.