How Cats Are The Ultimate Creators Of The Universe

Big bang? Intelligent design? No, we puny humans have been wrong all this time.

1. In the beginning, there was nothing. Stars were few and noxious gases were plenty. Also cats.

2. For millions of years, our creators patrolled space using advanced technology.

3. But the emptiness of space began to take its toll. The universe was missing something…

4. The Divines decided to create new habitats in the form of planets.

5. Celestial cat scientists found that the spherical shape, not unlike that of a furball, was best for planetary stability.

6. These new planets were ideal for sitting as well.

7. One planet in particular was given special care…

8. The creators gave it land, mountains, and the beginnings of a atmosphere…

9. They gave it water and clouds…

10. They gave it air to breathe and plant life that would forever struggle to reach the heavens from whence they came…

11. The cat gods knew something was missing. This cosmic hairball was too beautiful to be left dormant.

12. So they created us…

13. Forever grateful, we humans never cease to find ways to appease our feline lords.

14. We created a vast communications network that transmits data instantly anywhere on our furball.

15. Some believe that our lords and saviors are displeased with our devotion, that our memes have become stale and terrible…

16. That we have gone…

17. … too far.

18. Now, we must await for the day of our creators return…


19. When we must endure… OUR JUDGEMENT DAY

Yes, cats wrote Star Wars too. It’s actually religious scripture.

Prepare yourselves.

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