1. In the beginning, there was nothing. Stars were few and noxious gases were plenty. Also cats.
2. For millions of years, our creators patrolled space using advanced technology.
3. But the emptiness of space began to take its toll. The universe was missing something…
4. The Divines decided to create new habitats in the form of planets.
5. Celestial cat scientists found that the spherical shape, not unlike that of a furball, was best for planetary stability.
8. The creators gave it land, mountains, and the beginnings of a atmosphere…
10. They gave it air to breathe and plant life that would forever struggle to reach the heavens from whence they came…
11. The cat gods knew something was missing. This cosmic hairball was too beautiful to be left dormant.
13. Forever grateful, we humans never cease to find ways to appease our feline lords.
14. We created a vast communications network that transmits data instantly anywhere on our furball.
15. Some believe that our lords and saviors are displeased with our devotion, that our memes have become stale and terrible…
18. Now, we must await for the day of our creators return…
In The News Today
- A Guatemalan judge ordered former President Otto Perez Molina held in jail overnight while hearings over the corruption scandal that led to his resignation take place. ›
- Prosecutors will seek the death penalty for Dylann Roof, accused of killing nine people in a Charleston church in June. ›
- Kentucky clerk Kim Davis has been taken into federal custody until she orders her staff to issue marriage licenses. ›