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The Ultimate Back-To-School Shopping List

Shopping for school supplies is rad. You gotta get all the coolest notebooks and Trapper Keepers or everyone’s gonna laugh at you.

1. A PENCIL BOX.

What’re you gonna do otherwise? Hold them in your pocket?!?!

2. BOOK SOX

You better get these! Are you trying to lose your textbook security deposit?!?!

3. A PROTRACTOR.

How else are you gonna know if these angles are obtuse or acute?!?!?

4. CRAYONS.

What are you? A scrub? Get the GIANT box of crayons. You think 24 crayons is enough? 64? No. You need AT LEAST 96 crayons.

5. SCOTCH TAPE.

What if you write an entire two-page essay but then you rip the sheet when you tear it out of the notebook? Are you just gonna write a whole new one? No. No. Scotch tape that shit.

6. TRAPPER KEEPER.

Stay organized! Let all your classmates know how cool you are by getting a Sonic The Hedgehog Trapper Keeper.

7. STICKERS.

Don’t just use the off-the-shelf Trapper Keeper. Put some damn stickers on it! Goddamn, it’s like you ain’t even been to fifth grade before.

8. COMPOSITION BOOK.

For journaling, yo.

9. FLASHCARDS.

Oh, you think you don’t need to study? WRONG.

10. HIGHLIGHTERS.

Annotations for days.

11. PINK WEDGE ERASERS.

The erasers on the end of your pencil stink. Welcome to the big league.

12. RAZOR SCOOTER.

Only dorks let their mom drop them off. Cool kids ride their Razor scooter to school.

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