Bananas don't go in the fridge! That's just poor food handling, there.

That half cabbage is begging for the goatse treatment.

“Did you carve into the melon again? You better eat that shit before it goes bad, it cost me $5. And I hope you ate that chunk of cabbage you dug out.” “Oh great, you shaped the hamburger too. Now it's contaminated. Thanks. Now what am I going to put in our Hamburger Helper? Melon? FUUUU~”

Now THAT'S how you get laid