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Samuel L. Jackson Is The Only Person You Need To Follow During The Olympics

Samuel L. Jackson was watching the Olympics all weekend. He has an infinite number of ways to spell “motherfucker” and he’s not afraid to use them. Try reading these in his voice. posted on

He’s patriotic

On the upside.... Got a shooting Gold & advanced in Men's Volleyball & Water Polo! Go USA!!!

He loves badminton.

Whattup?! Just watched US get BADMUHFOUGHCCENMINTON beatdown fron So ko!

He cares about the pageantry as well.

OK, there were some real fashion fuckups in that parade of nations! Some I understand, others........

He loves archery (and isn’t afraid of some cross-promotion).

So Ko has a BLIND archer! WTF!! US took them down!! US vs Italy for team GOLD!

OK, I know that Blind Hawkeye is a BAD MARCHERFUQAA!!@AndrewSchmidt @nathanjwieler" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/nathanjwieler">@nathanjwieler I'm awed& informed! SHIT!

He’s willing to learn about new sports.

Awrite, who knows the rules in this Handball shit?! It's fast & furious though!

He watches gymnastics for the same reason as everyone else: to see people fall.

OK, shit that makes us feel good. That Chinese gymnast FACEPLANTED! Another reason it's not just good enuf to compete!

Mikulak, USA, just missed the parallel bar & body slammed himself! DAMN!!!

That Japanese Superman dudes' cape keeps gettin' caught shit! 3falls, 3events! These gymnastics gonna be good for Thrills & Laffs!

So, men's gymnastic team rocked! Let's cheer these girls thru too! USA GYMUPHUGGINASTERS!!!

Dope Ass start for the women gymnasts! Feeling' good about our chances! These "judgement" sports are sketchy...@ best!

Got slightly HOSED on that apparatus pass, but no gag reel shit for the gals! Go USA!

Ahhight!! Good MUPFUGHKEAN Beamin'!! Looking' solid. Still wanna put foot to those judges asses though!

He loves women’s weightlifting.

S'been real yall! Got 7AMtee time. MOLYMPICPHUKKEN thrillz 2 morra. Think weight lifting....women.

Told y'all, ladies weightlifting drama! Lil' babes, picking up heavy shit!

He’s interested in Olympic history.

Woke up to 16 yr old Ariel Hsing dusting ass in Ping Pong for USA!! btw, when did BB gun become an Olympic sport?

He knows that judging is all sorts of shady.

SEVENTYFUKKINTWO??!!!!! Really??!! And that Canadian dive was ALL Fucked Up!

Well, the pool is too short & the mats r too small. The ladies survive a weak Floor Exercise, judges be damned! Go USA!

The swimming events somehow get more exciting with his commentary.

"I just gotta move on", prophetic words by Michael Phelps. LOCTE SMOKED DAT ASS!!! Not even Bronze!

Water Polo!!! As dope as always! Speed, tuffness, durability. STRONG SWIMMAFOUGKAHZ!

Hansen gets a lil' revenge, comeback was worth it. "Shiniest Bronze medal you'll ever see".

Great women's 400 Freestyle....5 more meters & we'da caught dat French Ass!

He’ll let you know which events are boring.

Tried to watch Boxing, BORING! Might need to change to UFC/MMA style to draw interest!

Bout to shut it down. Looks like Romania ain't what it used to be...in gymnastics.prolly gon fall asleep to that White Water Kayaking!

He wants to know your opinion.

Now, for that Field Hockey Gold....how we feelin'? Speak up MUFEXPERTFUKKUHZ!

Selected Samuel L. Jackson vocabulary:

MOLYMPICPHUKKEN
MUFEXPERTFUKKUHZ
BADMUHFOUGHCCENMINTON
MARCHERFUQAA
GYMUPHUGGINASTERS
MUPFUGGUH
SWIMMAFOUGKAHZ
BUTTAFUQQINFLY
MUPFUGHKEAN

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