Promoted
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olympics

Samuel L. Jackson Is The Only Person You Need To Follow During The Olympics

Samuel L. Jackson was watching the Olympics all weekend. He has an infinite number of ways to spell “motherfucker” and he’s not afraid to use them. Try reading these in his voice.

He’s patriotic


OK! Getting that MOLYMPICPHUKKEN Fevah! GO TEAM USA!!!!!— Samuel L. Jackson


So far the competition ain’t shinin’! Russia & China strugglin’!— Samuel L. Jackson


On the upside…. Got a shooting Gold & advanced in Men’s Volleyball & Water Polo! Go USA!!!— Samuel L. Jackson

He loves badminton.

Who y'all got for that Badminton GOLD?!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Who y’all got for that Badminton GOLD?!— Samuel L. Jackson

I'm hearing Malaysia might be bringing Badminton noise!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

I’m hearing Malaysia might be bringing Badminton noise!— Samuel L. Jackson

Whattup?! Just watched US get BADMUHFOUGHCCENMINTON beatdown fron So ko!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Whattup?! Just watched US get BADMUHFOUGHCCENMINTON beatdown fron So ko!— Samuel L. Jackson

He cares about the pageantry as well.

OK, there were some real fashion fuckups in that parade of nations! Some I understand, others........

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

OK, there were some real fashion fuckups in that parade of nations! Some I understand, others……..— Samuel L. Jackson

He loves archery (and isn’t afraid of some cross-promotion).

So Ko has a BLIND archer! WTF!! US took them down!! US vs Italy for team GOLD!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

So Ko has a BLIND archer! WTF!! US took them down!! US vs Italy for team GOLD!— Samuel L. Jackson

OK, I know that Blind Hawkeye is a BAD MARCHERFUQAA!!@AndrewSchmidt @nathanjwieler I'm awed& informed! SHIT!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

OK, I know that Blind Hawkeye is a BAD MARCHERFUQAA!!@AndrewSchmidt @nathanjwieler I’m awed& informed! SHIT!— Samuel L. Jackson

He’s willing to learn about new sports.

Awrite, who knows the rules in this Handball shit?! It's fast & furious though!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Awrite, who knows the rules in this Handball shit?! It’s fast & furious though!— Samuel L. Jackson

He watches gymnastics for the same reason as everyone else: to see people fall.

OK, shit that makes us feel good. That Chinese gymnast FACEPLANTED! Another reason it's not just good enuf to compete!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

OK, shit that makes us feel good. That Chinese gymnast FACEPLANTED! Another reason it’s not just good enuf to compete!— Samuel L. Jackson

Mikulak, USA, just missed the parallel bar & body slammed himself! DAMN!!!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Mikulak, USA, just missed the parallel bar & body slammed himself! DAMN!!!— Samuel L. Jackson

That Japanese Superman dudes' cape keeps gettin' caught shit! 3falls, 3events! These gymnastics gonna be good for Thrills & Laffs!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

That Japanese Superman dudes’ cape keeps gettin’ caught shit! 3falls, 3events! These gymnastics gonna be good for Thrills & Laffs!— Samuel L. Jackson

Massive German Facial on high bar! OUCH like a MUPFUGGUH!!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Massive German Facial on high bar! OUCH like a MUPFUGGUH!!— Samuel L. Jackson

So, men's gymnastic team rocked! Let's cheer these girls thru too! USA GYMUPHUGGINASTERS!!!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

So, men’s gymnastic team rocked! Let’s cheer these girls thru too! USA GYMUPHUGGINASTERS!!!— Samuel L. Jackson

Dope Ass start for the women gymnasts! Feeling' good about our chances! These "judgement" sports are sketchy...@ best!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Dope Ass start for the women gymnasts! Feeling’ good about our chances! These “judgement” sports are sketchy…@ best!— Samuel L. Jackson

Got slightly HOSED on that apparatus pass, but no gag reel shit for the gals! Go USA!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Got slightly HOSED on that apparatus pass, but no gag reel shit for the gals! Go USA!— Samuel L. Jackson

Ahhight!! Good MUPFUGHKEAN Beamin'!! Looking' solid. Still wanna put foot to those judges asses though!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Ahhight!! Good MUPFUGHKEAN Beamin’!! Looking’ solid. Still wanna put foot to those judges asses though!— Samuel L. Jackson

He loves women’s weightlifting.

S'been real yall! Got 7AMtee time. MOLYMPICPHUKKEN thrillz 2 morra. Think weight lifting....women.

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

S’been real yall! Got 7AMtee time. MOLYMPICPHUKKEN thrillz 2 morra. Think weight lifting….women.— Samuel L. Jackson

Told y'all, ladies weightlifting drama! Lil' babes, picking up heavy shit!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Told y’all, ladies weightlifting drama! Lil’ babes, picking up heavy shit!— Samuel L. Jackson

He’s interested in Olympic history.

Woke up to 16 yr old Ariel Hsing dusting ass in Ping Pong for USA!! btw, when did BB gun become an Olympic sport?

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Woke up to 16 yr old Ariel Hsing dusting ass in Ping Pong for USA!! btw, when did BB gun become an Olympic sport?— Samuel L. Jackson

He knows that judging is all sorts of shady.

Americans getting BONED on Sync Diving scores!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Americans getting BONED on Sync Diving scores!— Samuel L. Jackson

SEVENTYFUKKINTWO??!!!!! Really??!! And that Canadian dive was ALL Fucked Up!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

SEVENTYFUKKINTWO??!!!!! Really??!! And that Canadian dive was ALL Fucked Up!— Samuel L. Jackson

Well, the pool is too short & the mats r too small. The ladies survive a weak Floor Exercise, judges be damned! Go USA!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Well, the pool is too short & the mats r too small. The ladies survive a weak Floor Exercise, judges be damned! Go USA!— Samuel L. Jackson

The swimming events somehow get more exciting with his commentary.

BUTTAFUQQINFLY WORLD RECORD!!!! Dayummmm! Go USA!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

BUTTAFUQQINFLY WORLD RECORD!!!! Dayummmm! Go USA!— Samuel L. Jackson

"I just gotta move on", prophetic words by Michael Phelps. LOCTE SMOKED DAT ASS!!! Not even Bronze!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

“I just gotta move on”, prophetic words by Michael Phelps. LOCTE SMOKED DAT ASS!!! Not even Bronze!— Samuel L. Jackson

Water Polo!!! As dope as always! Speed, tuffness, durability. STRONG SWIMMAFOUGKAHZ!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Water Polo!!! As dope as always! Speed, tuffness, durability. STRONG SWIMMAFOUGKAHZ!— Samuel L. Jackson

Mmmmmmm, Grudge Swim comin' up! Izzat gangster?

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Mmmmmmm, Grudge Swim comin’ up! Izzat gangster?— Samuel L. Jackson

Hansen gets a lil' revenge, comeback was worth it. "Shiniest Bronze medal you'll ever see".

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Hansen gets a lil’ revenge, comeback was worth it. “Shiniest Bronze medal you’ll ever see”.— Samuel L. Jackson

Great women's 400 Freestyle....5 more meters & we'da caught dat French Ass!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Great women’s 400 Freestyle….5 more meters & we’da caught dat French Ass!— Samuel L. Jackson

Fuuuuuck! Another short pool loss!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Fuuuuuck! Another short pool loss!— Samuel L. Jackson

He’ll let you know which events are boring.

Tried to watch Boxing, BORING! Might need to change to UFC/MMA style to draw interest!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Tried to watch Boxing, BORING! Might need to change to UFC/MMA style to draw interest!— Samuel L. Jackson

Bout to shut it down. Looks like Romania ain't what it used to be...in gymnastics.prolly gon fall asleep to that White Water Kayaking!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Bout to shut it down. Looks like Romania ain’t what it used to be…in gymnastics.prolly gon fall asleep to that White Water Kayaking!— Samuel L. Jackson

He wants to know your opinion.

Now, for that Field Hockey Gold....how we feelin'? Speak up MUFEXPERTFUKKUHZ!

— SamuelLJackson (@Samuel L. Jackson)

Now, for that Field Hockey Gold….how we feelin’? Speak up MUFEXPERTFUKKUHZ!— Samuel L. Jackson

Selected Samuel L. Jackson vocabulary:

MOLYMPICPHUKKEN
MUFEXPERTFUKKUHZ
BADMUHFOUGHCCENMINTON
MARCHERFUQAA
GYMUPHUGGINASTERS
MUPFUGGUH
SWIMMAFOUGKAHZ
BUTTAFUQQINFLY
MUPFUGHKEAN

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