1. You sneak water bottles into restaurants to avoid breaking the bank on fancy restaurant water.
2. You couldn’t even believe it the first time you had to pay to use the bathroom.
Literally, I beg your friggin pardon???
3. You look at a restaurant menu and notice that it’s cheaper to order a vodka shot than a Coke.
4. You take a million pictures of churches…
…Only to later think: “What in God’s name am I supposed to do with a million pictures of churches?”
5. You wander up and down the winding streets, searching for your hostel.
And when you ask a local for directions, they look at you as though you have just arrived from outer space.
Because, GUESS WHAT, your hostel doesn’t exist.
Gotta love phantom hostels.
6. You find your true love in France: wine that only costs two Euros.
7. You share a dorm room with a grown man who has no shame in publicly undressing.
A scarring experience to say the least.
8. You wake up to the feeling of your bunk bed jiggling and realize that there are two people above you doing unspeakable things.
Either that, or they are doing two-person push-ups. But probably the former.
9. On days you’re feeling cheap, you hoard food from the free hostel breakfast to avoid buying lunch.
10. But on days you’re feeling culturally stimulated, you eat ALL OF THE FOOD!!!!!!
Local cuisine GET @ ME.
11. You get food poisoning and wind up at a local hospital where no one speaks English.
I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that strange-looking meat.
12. You try to keep your things clean and tidy to ease the process of repacking.
But let’s face it, that ain’t gonna happen.
13. You wear the most stylish of handbags to avoid getting pickpocketed.
But be wary because “fanny pack” means something entirely different in the U.K. …
14. You feel all clever for using the expression “When in Rome” when you’re in actual Rome.
M-K and Ash know what’s up.
15. And you can’t possibly leave Rome without reenacting the famous Lizzie McGuire Movie scene.
16. You go on a free walking tour, only to learn that it’s not actually free.
I feel cheated.
17. You go to the South of France and Instagram a pic with a groundbreaking caption about Nice being nice.
But I’m not gonna lie to you hunny, I’ve seen it before.
18. You try to get away with paying discounted fares on the metro.
And if the authorities catch your sneakiness, you ever so innocently play the “sorry, I’m foreign” card.
19. You pretend to speak a made-up language when approached by men in the street selling roses or balls that you splatter on the ground.
20. You observe tourists going to extraordinary lengths to get an epic Leaning Tower of Pisa picture.