1. These goats decided they could brave the mall crowds to do their Christmas shopping.
NOPE. Noooope. Abort mission, stat.
The happiness of their loved ones just isn’t worth it.
2. This goat has heard “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” over 65 times already, and it’s only December 7.
There will be no survivors.
3. Here is a goat who had to spend her entire paycheck buying her boyfriend new video games.
If only she’d known Best Buy will beat any price, online or anywhere else.
4. This goat can’t imagine getting another Christmas sweater; he’s already at maximum fluff capacity.
5. This vegetarian goat just had to sit through a Christmas dinner with NO tofurkey.
6. This goat had a little too much champagne and told Aunt Barbara how awful her gifts were.
Maybe there’ll be more Christmas cheer next door.
7. This guy can’t field one more dinner table question about his “crazy hair.”
It’s called self-expression, Mom.
8. This goat’s husband accidentally set the Christmas tree on fire. Again.
9. This goat hasn’t purchased a single present yet, and it’s Christmas Eve.
Can we just slow down the pace for a moment?
10. Here’s what happens when long-divorced goats are forced to attend the same holiday party.
11. This goat is a college sophomore who’s been relegated to the kids’ table for another consecutive year.
If you’re old enough to grow facial hair, you’re old enough to sit with the adults.