Things I Learned From Binge-Watching "Orange Is The New Black"

Here's the important lessons I took away from binge-watching 13 hours of Jenji Kohan's newest series on Netflix.

1.

Via laughingsquid.com

Jenji Kohan has done it again.
This show is unique, smart, and funny: all the reasons we used to love "Weeds" (before season 4, when it changed locations from the suburbs to Mexico). Since this show is set in a women's prison, we know the cast isn't going anywhere.

2.

Natasha Lyonne is turning into The Trash Lady from "Labyrinth."
No explanation needed.

3.

Via poptower.com

Don't cross Kate Mulgrew.
Sure she was great as a spaceship captain, but she's even better as a prison cook who runs her kitchen like the Russian mafia.

4.

Via fanpop.com

Kool-Aid makes great prison lipstick.
And also hair-dye for the previously mentioned Russian mafia cooks.

5.

Jason Biggs will always be masturbating.
Of course there's a storyline about Jason Biggs giving himself blue balls to become a better writer.

6.

Per episode 5, chickens are symbolic of something.

I just don't know what exactly.

7.

Wendy Williams is not in this show.
It's actually transexual actress Laverne Cox, and she's a delight.

8.

Via autostraddle.com

No one does "Trailer Trash Crazy" like Taryn Manning.
Since 2002's "Crossroads," where she suffered a miscarriage after falling down a flight of stairs, Taryn Manning has always been at her best playing bonkers backwoods women losing their babies.

9.

Smuggling isn't worth it.
Especially it's one of those old Nokia phones.

10.

Via presstv.com

I need to stop binge-watching.
Because this is literally all I can remember after 13 hours of episodes of "Orange is the New Black."