Things Every D.C. Person Does On Their Snow Day


1. After tweeting an endless stream of vague weather maps, we are finally here, D.C.

3. And even our overlords have agreed this time!

4. The day starts out with rejoicing!

5. If you are from a place that does not see snow often, you will tweet in disbelief.

6. And get trolled by people who are used to snow.

7. You will have the irresistible desire to take photos of snow through your window screen.

8. Then you will bravely take pics of your neighborhood.

9. Or your apartment building.

10. “Real snow in DC!”

11. You will make a big deal out of cleaning your car.

12. Then you will head out and start tweeting about what things look like covered in snow.

13. Instagram video about food trucks.

14. Ask yourself this: “Wait, what filter works best in snow?”

15. Take selfies at monuments covered in snow.

16. And make Vines of famous stuff with snow on it.

17. If your office stayed open, you will brag about it.

19. Sup, Rep. Austin Scott’s office on the rooftop?

20. If you are on TV for a living, you will drag your cameramen outside.

21. Just so you can look like this:

22. Even people who work in the private sector will brag about going to work.

23. Your Foursquare check-in will be at “Snowtastrophe.”

24. Then, out of boredom, you will paste idiotic stuff like this on Facebook.

25. And desperately wait for these guys to plan a massive citywide snowball fight.

26. Then you slowly realize snow is inconvenient.

27. And you will look for a massive list of happy hour snow specials.


28. And once again, if you live in Virginia, we don’t care.

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