Politics

37 Things Conservatives Would Rather Do Than Watch Obama’s State Of The Union Speech

“Do the Harlem Shake.”

Conservatives on Twitter have created a hashtag for what they would rather do than watch the President’s State of the Union speech tonight.

John Merrit / Getty Images

Here are some of the most important highlights of that hashtag.

1. Lick a hoarder’s sink plate.

2. Eat old sushi.

3. Do the Harlem Shake.

4. Make religious jokes to the Taliban.

5. Eat deadly chemicals.

6. Watch Obama ride a bike.

7. This natural option.

8. Slightly more deviant.

9. OK, guys, get back on track…

10. Electrocute their wiener.

11. Wrestle Chris Christie for food.

12. Bathe Gov. Christie.

13. Torture themselves.

14. Floss a cat.

15. Massage a naked Michael Moore.

16. Call me maybe?

17. Watch Kathy Griffin felate Anderson Cooper.

18. Watch Bill Clinton’s Impeachment.

19. Figure out Barney Frank’s cup size.

21. This terrible thing:

22. The Dougie.

23. Interesting concept.

24. Get their wieners bitten off.

25. Babysit Honey Boo Boo.

26. Fix their VCR.

27. Store weapons in a shelter in the woods.

28. Watch TBS’s “Cougartown.”

29. Commit beastiality.

30. Get a job.

31. Watch Miss Universe.

32. Cut off their balls.

33. Buy tickets to watch the Jets.

34. Watch Tim Tebow on a bench.

35. OK, I’m sure you would not rather do this.

36. Eat poop.

But we are pretty sure they are going to watch it anyway.

Happy State of the Union!

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