The New "House Of Cards" Trailer Is Here And It Is OMG, WTF, Darkness

Holy….what. posted on

The new House of Cards trailer is here, and it is hella dark.

Here are the darkest things about it.

1. The thing starts out with Frank Underwood’s iconic speech about pain.

“There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong, or useless pain. The sort of pain that’s only suffering. I have no patience for useless things.”

2. Frank Underwood has a badass motorcade now.

Since he is the veep now, right?

3. Frank says, “I need to prove what the vice president is capable of,” while saluting what looks like a group of Civil War reenactors.

4. Frank assures Claire that they can be “dangerous.”

5. Chick make-out scene.

6. Zoe wonders if she was a part of someones murder.

7. This guy barks and holds his chest.

8. Frank Underwood watches Hardball.

9. The vice president throws a steak into a pool. A dog retrieves it.

Good Boy

10. The president tells Frank that he is “out of line” and Frank throws a lamp.

11. Suffocation.

With scented candles.

12. Anthrax.

13. Raymond Tusk says “hit ‘em now” on a landline.

14. Frank is still going to talk right into the camera. And power walk too.

15. Frank tells Doug Stamper to “put things to bed.”

Doug also smacks away a drink like a boss.

16. Slap fights.

17. “Let’s make him suffer.”

18. Burying a ring on a Civil War battlefield.

19. Dramatic office shots.

20. Extinguishing a birthday candle with a slight touch.

21. And Claire is still perfection.

“And the butchery begins.”

And I will be all…

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