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Politics

29 Hill Staffer Problems

Bro, this is the worst.

Working on Capitol Hill is so fetch…

29. …except when you’re meeting with a lobbyist whose suits cost more than your annual salary.

28. Or having to facilitate constituent meetings that make you nervous.

For an issue you know absolutely nothing about.

Then having people cry in those meetings.

27. Constituents not knowing how to address your boss.

26. Going through TSA every day on your way to work.

Getty Images

Santa is even wanded down.

And having this lady in front of you.

Kiss your next 17 minutes away at the metal detector.

25. Having your personal salary be searchable.

24. People saying “You work for me!”

FML.

23. Dealing with your district offices.

22. Everyone back home thinking you are SUPER rich.

21. Awkward photos with your boss.

Who is not sure who you are.

20. Is it a 5 o’clock or a 6 o’clock day?

And wait… do I have to wear a suit today?

19. Getting called a “staff ass.”

Which is short for staff assistant.

18. Not having interns to blame for screw ups.

17. Deciding between parking or metro benefits?

 

16. Not getting to smoke in your office when “Boehner can smoke in his.”

15. Watching House of Cards and critiquing small inaccuracies.

14. Not being on The Hill’s “50 Most Attractive People on the Hill” list… again.

13. Deciding whether to watch CSPAN-2 and CSPAN-3.

12. Being told that the person you are trying to reach in another office is “really busy” when you know what they are really doing:

11. Not having enough time for a 3 p.m. froyo run.

10. Eating most lunches at your desk.

One word: CRUMBS.

9. Getting caught in a tourist photo-op.

8. When a reception is ALL THE WAY on the House side.

When a reception is ALL THE WAY on the Senate side.

An accurate map for reference:

7. Complaining about government-run health care when you have government-run health care.

6. Forgetting to wear a suit while still in session.

Rookie mistake!

5. Listening to the married people in your office complain about their commute from the Maryland or Virginia suburbs.

4. Having to come up with stupid acronyms for your bosses’ bills.

Helping Home Owners Make Energy-Efficiency Residential Upgrades Now Act of 2008 aka H-HOMERUN Act.

3. Needing 2+ phones and having NO POCKET SPACE.

Personal phone, work Blackberry, campaign cellphone. I need a utility belt!

2. Having a master’s degree and feeling stupid.

Got a master’s degree? Yes, great. Then you can help with folding mail.

1. Getting rejected…

…until that person finds out that you work for Leadership.

h/t to all the bros and broette staffers who contributed to this piece by complaining at Happy Hour.

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