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Drama Of The U.N. Explained By Real Housewives

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1. Every year, the United Nations General Assembly meets in New York. There is often drama.

2. One of the biggest stories at the U.N. this year was the introduction of Iran’s new president, Hassan Rouhani.

3. Rouhani was making his first appearance on the world stage and needed to make an impression.

 

4. And it seemed Rouhani could set out to mend some burned bridges with the U.S. and Israel.

5. Because Iran’s last president REALLY pissed off America and Israel.

 

From denying the Holocaust to starting a nuclear program. That guy was such a diva.

6. Rouhani said, “Greetings to the people of America who are very dear and near to the hearts of the Iranian people.”

7. And America was like, “What? Oh, thanks.”

 

8. Rouhani also appeared to condemn the Holocaust and call it criminal.

“The taking of human life is contemptible. It makes no difference whether that life is Jewish life, Christian, or Muslim. For us it is the same.”

10. But this moderate move made America very happy.

11. Then Iran asked Israel to declare details about its own suspected nuclear weapons arsenal.

By signing on to the 1979 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.

12. But Israel was not up for declaring their nukes at all.

13. Iran also said Israel should get rid of its nuclear weapons to create a “nuke-free” Middle East zone.

 

14. Meanwhile, everyone, especially America, was wondering if Omar al-Bashir would show up.

15. But the Sudanese president, facing charges of war crimes, did not end up showing.

16. The new Venezuelan president didn’t show up either.

17. Brazil’s President Dilma Rousseff was talking tons of smack on America.

18. Rousseff said the recent National Security Agency spying scandal was “an affront to the principles that must guide relations… among friendly nations.”

 

19. Obama gave a speech calling for world peace.

20. Russia, riding high, was pushing for a Russian-sponsored diplomatic solution to the Syria crisis.

21. And in response, Obama toned down his rhetoric on Syria.

22. Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov and Secretary of State John Kerry met in the “Russian Room” under a portrait of Vladimir Putin.

They met to mark up a text of a U.N. resolution on dismantling Syria’s chemical weapons.

23. The Russian Delegation walked out on a speech by Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili after what they called “anti-Russian remarks.”

24. At first it looked like Obama and the Iranian president might meet…

25. But then Iran’s president decided not to meet with Obama because it would look bad for him back home.

 

26. And China just tends to show up to the U.N. with this philosophy:

27. And by the end, Israel is just thinking, Why do we even pay money for this?

28. And America says, “See you bitches next year!”

 

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