Politics

DC’s Version Of The Royal Baby Is A Gigantic Flower That Smells Like Poo

The suspense is killing me!

Editors' Note:

This post has been corrected to remove phrasing that was copied from a press release from the United States Botanical Garden.

BuzzFeed takes its responsibility to readers very seriously, and plagiarism is a major breach of that responsibility. Please read our apology to readers here.

2. While the rest of the world waits for another monarch to be born, DC is eagerly anticipating the arrival of it’s own royalty.

Luke Macgregor / Reuters

3. But it will not look like this:

4. It will look like this!!!

5. This is a titan arum (Amorphophallus titanum) and it is the largest unbranched blooming flower in the world.

6. The titan arum is one of the rarest blooms ON THE PLANET. It can take years and even decades to flower.

7. And guess what?! DC has one in the Botanical Gardens about to BLOOM!

8. Get control of yourself DC.

10. HERE IT IS! SO MUCH COOLER THAT A ROYAL BABY! RIGHT?

July 16

July 17

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12. Breathe.

13. OK everybody! PLEASE!

14. The Botanical Garden has begun their own ‘Titan Arum Watch’ complete with a LIVESTREAM!

15. Unfortunately, so many people in DC are tuning in to watch a plant, the stream is MELTING DOWN.

16. Oh, one other thing, the plant smells like rancid ass.

17. No, seriously. It smells like rotting flesh.

18. Another name for it: “Corpse flower.”

19. The smell attracts dung beetles.

20. There is a line out the door at the gardens filled with people waiting for a quick glance at the gigantic poo plant.

21. So you can keep your Royal Baby!

Chris Jackson / Getty Images

22. We have THIS!

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