23 Libertarian Problems

Yes, I do sleep on a copy of Atlas Shrugged.

23. When someone tells you your “crazy views will never win an election.”

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22. “Is this, like, your bible?”

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21. When you get a fundraising text from the RNC.

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20. You agree with Democrats on social issues and Republicans on fiscal…

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Then they call you a libtard.

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19. When other conservatives tell you that you will “grow out of your libertarian phase.”

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18. When someone asks you to sign up to support Rick Santorum.

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17. When one of your friends on Facebook posts a Heritage Foundation piece on national security.

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16. When Glenn Beck calls himself a libertarian.

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15. When Republicans call Rand Paul an “extremist.”

Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press / MCT

You just want to force them to read Rothbard.

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14. When Republicans want to use government to spread democracy, ban gay marriage, ban drugs… but still claim they’re for “small government.”

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13. When you have this conversation…

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… and this is how they see you the rest of the conversation.

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12. When Republicans tell you that you have to choose between the lesser of two evils.

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11. Being called a hippie because you don’t like going to war with other countries.

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Then being called unpatriotic because you don’t think the government should be allowed to spy on citizens.

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10. When Republicans tell you that deficits are bad, but absolutely lose their shit when you talk about defense spending cuts.

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9. When Republicans tell you that they “need your support!” but then tell you to “shut up” when you try to get involved in party meetings.

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8. When libertarian-leaning members of Congress try to influence legislation.

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7. When people say, “But what about the roads?!?!!” as though there has never been a private company that could build roads.

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6. “Oh, you just believe every word that Ron Paul/Ayn Rand says.”


“And 9/11 was an inside job, right?”

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5. When Chris Christie starts criticizing Libertarians…

Bloomberg / Getty Images
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…and you’re all like:

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4. “I. am. NOT. A Republican.”

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3. “No, I’m not an anarchist… OK, maybe I am.”

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2. When you feel like a conservative around Libertarians and a Libertarian around conservatives.

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1. When you are called an objectivist movement cultist.

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Because SCREW THAT, Ayn Rand was the BEST!

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H/t to all the libertarians in D.C. who passed along their complaints for this list.

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