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15 Reasons Arizona Should Take Steven Seagal Seriously As A Candidate For Governor

Move over, Jan Brewer.

This is current Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer.

Via AP

Probably the most ballsy thing she has ever done is wag a finger at Obama.

Child’s play.

That’s possibly why preeminent universal badass and political genius Steven Seagal has announced he is gonna up the governor’s game in the Sun Devil state.

Bogdan Cristel / Reuters

Don’t take Steven Seagal is a serious candidate for governor?

Sit down.

1. Answer honestly, Arizona: Do you want a governor who has a 7th-dan black belt in Aikido?

 

2. He could enter the governor’s mansion like so.

3. He is already making headlines in Arizona.

4. He would be able to easily handle political detractors.

By taking them for “a ride.”

5. At 6’4”, he would be the tallest governor in America.

You like that, don’t you, Arizona?

6. He would also be the only governor in America with his own energy drink.

 

7. He has ready-to-order campaign slogans.

8. Gamers in Arizona could finally have a hero they could look up to.

On any system.

9. This is a candidate who likes music.

 

He has two albums. How many albums do most governors have?

Photo by Samir Hussein / Getty Images

Thought so.

10. Your team is the Sun Devils, right?

Christian Petersen / Getty Images

Seagal did a movie called Into the Sun, which is essentially the same thing.

Here is the VHS cover of that.

11. He would not have the silly inhibitions that all the other governors have.

12. Seagal has an elite sense of style for any occasion.

What other gubernatorial candidate would look like this getting out of a motorcade?

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Sometimes, he just wears pashminas.

John M. Heller / Getty Images

Or this shirt/suit jacket combo.

13. He knows what it is like to be on both sides of the law.

 

And has solutions for when crooked cops get out of hand.

14. This is a candidate who can have serious, nuanced debates.

A candidate you can relate to, emotionally.

15. Someone with deep experience in international relations.

AP Photo/RIA-Novosti, Alexei Nikolsky, Presidential Press Service
AP Photo/RIA-Novosti, Alexei Nikolsky, Presidential Press Service

So remember, take Seagal seriously.

Joshua Lott / Reuters

Otherwise, California and Minnesota will make fun of you.

 

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