1. Ugly striped deckchairs that are probably older than you.
2. Which match the ugly striped windbreakers that don't actually do shit.
3. A carousel with creepy looking horses that have strange names.
4. Fish and chip shops trying too hard to make a pun.
5. A dance machine where all dignity is lost.
6. Penny slot machines that tease you with prizes you have to spend £20 to actually get.
7. But that's nothing compared to the claw machines that refuse to give ANY prize under any circumstances because they want everybody to be miserable and broke.
8. Seagulls that are intent on stealing every scrap of your fish and chips because they are evil spawns of satan.
9. A pier that people are probably "crabbing" off of.
10. A lot of shops that sell exactly the same shit.
11. Inflatable water toys that will never be used because of the horror stories your gran tells you about being swept out to sea.
12. Swingball, aka a nice game that turns violent pretty quickly.
13. The cause of all arguments.
14. A lot of caravans.
15. Rain jackets for the entire family because you're guaranteed approximately 3 minutes of sun.
16. A market that sells a lot of fake clothes and cheap toys.
17. And at least one stall that sells fake DVDs and CDs.
18. Donkeys that are willing to take you 20 metres along the beach for an extortionate price.
19. Some form of amusement park which you're not sure is entirely 100% safe.
Fantasy Island Ingoldmells #rollercoasters #rides
20. No seaside holiday would be complete without a good old stick of rock.
21. And finally, the one thing you'll ~always~ see on a seaside holiday? Socks and bloody sandals.
