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26.2 Observations That Every First Time Marathon Runner Makes

There are a lot of things you learn training for your first attempt at that 26.2 mile target…

1. You regress to your eighties self with luminous running gear.

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2. It’s a great way to build a collection of “Well done, you’ve taken part” medals.

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3. You have a solid excuse to wear tights out in public.

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4. You spend a small fortunate on the best race shoes, molded in-soles, cold weather running gear, high-tech GPS trackers and watches, heart beat monitors and a shopping cart of gels, energy drinks, and shakes – making you feel like a machine.

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5. And then are constantly shamed when overtaken by two older, more experienced runners just in an old pair of trainers chatting away.

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6. Which makes you feel like all your investment has amounted to nothing.

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7. Those around you don’t understand your excitement around a minute-per-mile improvement.

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8. And are often bored to death within 2 minutes.

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9. Various health gains are destroyed by the post-run gorge.

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10. Bumping into someone you know half through a run all hot and sweaty.

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11. When someone breaks the water fountain etiquette.

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12. The constant Run, Fatboy, Run jokes.

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13. And the Forrest Gump ones.

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14. When racing an absolute stranger becomes suddenly acceptable.

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15. A 10k, a previously insurmountable distance, quickly becomes a “short run.”

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16. Kids on bikes become the most unpredictable thing since George Bush was president.

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17. That feeling when you realize you’ve only just passed the halfway mark.

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18. Getting lost. (We’ve all done it…haven’t we?)

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19. Knowing you’ve been running far too long when you get locked in the park at night.

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20. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

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21. You see walking as a sign of weakness.

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22. Cyclists quickly become a menace.

23. One word — chafing.

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24. Stairs are somewhat difficult the next day.

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25. You can go through an entire weather cycle in one long run — wind, rain, sun, snow, hail.

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26. “Gonna Fly Now” from Rocky makes you feel AWESOME.

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Good luck to all the first time marathoners out there! (That’s the .2)

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