1. Bagels (preferably with lox and/or cream cheese).
Come to mama.
2. Nice Jewish Boys
We just want a nice doctor or a lawyer with an impressive jew-fro to bring home to mom! Is that too much to ask?
Oh sweet baby moses, YES. Really, we love all carbs. But we pretend not to on dates.
4. Our Bubbes
Nobody is better than our grandmas, and our moms for that matter. And don’t you forget it.
5. Bat Mitzvahs
Your parents essentially threw you and your friends a giant party, which always involved an awesome buffet, chocolate fountains, awkward dances/DJs/dance motivators, Coke/Pepsi games, the hora, and awesome gifts.
6. Coach Bags
Speaking of Bat Mitzvahs, this was THE JACKPOT GIFT.
Carnivals, costumes, loads of wine, a story with a kick-ass heroine, noisemakers - what’s not to love?
8. Talking about how big our noses are
“Ugh, MY SCHNOZZ.” Also, nose jobs as 16th-birthday gifts: all too common.
Can we just move there already?
Week long vacation with fellow members of the tribe? Yes please.
11. Roast Chicken
In the words of Grace from Will and Grace:
Will: The relationship you have with the chicken is truly remarkable. I can’t wait for the day when someone inhales my leg and thigh like that.
Grace: I don’t know what to tell you, man. Jews and chicken… it’s real and it’s deep.
The best part of Pesach, by far.
Also, hummus. Chickpeas are by far the best legume.
14. Jewish Celebrities and Politicians
Did you know Jon Stewart is Jewish? Debra Messing? Ruth Bader Ginsberg? Rahm Emanuel? Natalie Portman? Let us remind you 40 times. What’s that, you want some lists? Here you go!
Also, the feeling that you get when you discover one of your favorite celebrities is Jewish? THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
The best part of visiting Bubbe & Grandpa.
16. Hair Straighteners
Gotta tame that mane somehow.
Mandated day of rest that also just so happens to be the social event of the week and involves lots of food and the aforementioned challah.
18. Knowing exactly what is and is not kosher
Also, adapting all of our menus to fit everyone’s different variations of kosher/gluten free/vegetarian/vegan.
19. Talking about our dads
They are embarrassing, ridiculous, hilarious, and some of our favorite people ever.
20. Woody Allen
We dig it.
21. Using Yiddush in everyday conversation
Oy gevalt, I’m schvitzing like it’s going out of style.