The Many Underused Uses Of The Middle Finger

The middle finger can communicate the entire spectrum of emotional responses. Perfect for most every situation.

There’s an urban legend about the origin of the middle finger. According to lore, the French would cut off the middle finger of Englishman after defeat. The English longbow, made from the yew tree, was the ultimate weapon of the time. Once the middle finger was removed, the English would be unable to pluck the bow. However, as the story goes, when an Englishman defeated a Frenchman, they would stand above them, with middle finger extended. “I can still,” he would declare, “pluck yew. PLUCK YEW!”

The middle finger has evolved to become one of the most recognizable and versatile non-verbal words in our language (and I’d assume other languages as well, though I speak none of them). The middle finger can communicate the entire spectrum of emotional responses. Perfect for most every situation.

Here’s a list of the many underused uses of our most versatile finger:

2. When you’re annoyed

“When someone giggles after I mention I’ve been to Band Camp”

3. To let your finger say what your mouth cannot

“After finally passing the old lady doing 30 with her blinker on in the fast lane…”

4. Just playing around

“My robot hand spells it ‘8-0-0-8’”

5. To stick it to the man (behind his back)

“It’s my birthday and my neighbor called the cops to tell me the music was too loud”

6. To rebel against authority

“Sure Dad, I’ll be home at 11”

7. As an exclamation to your point

“And the winner of the Give a Fuck Olympics is…”

8. To get the last word

“The last day of school”

9. When you no longer have to give a shit

“Friday, 5:01 p.m.”

10. When you’ve just had enough already

“When a guys asks if you’re on your period…”

11. To say ‘bye’ to a best friend

“When you unexpectedly see your best friend at the same place”

12. When you’re wrong and still don’t GAF

“After you scream at the cat for clawing the couch…”

13. You absolutely love your children, but sometimes…

“So remember, kids, 1 + 1 = 2”

14. If you’re suffering from creator’s block

“A Fuck Noir”

15. When you’re all thinking the same thing

“When the teacher leaves the classroom…”

16. Despite the results, you know you’re right

“The final fuck given”

17. To let the people know how you really feel

“I’m the President, and I approve this message.”

18. When you can’t really be THAT mad

“When you get insulted by your crush..”

19. You’ve got nothing to lose

“Pardon me, Sir, but I call your bluff”

20. To tell the world exactly how you feel

“What a lovely day for a fuck parade”

21. When you’re cold, and wet, and tired

“The force is strong with this one…”

22. When you can finally say what you really feel

“The subtext to every resignation letter”

23. When you know you’re wrong but won’t admit it

“When you know you lost the argument…”

24. When they couldn’t hear your insult

“Please, tell me more about your fantasy football team”

25. When you’re too tired to argue

“Too lazy to give a fuck”

26. Just minding your business and someone interrupts

“When my parents leave the room after bitching at me.”

27. To politely declare your irritation

“Pardon me. Do you have any fucks to give?”

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