1. This is your idea of how to really freak out your kids.
And if that doesn’t work, there must be some re-watchings.
2. You always dress cool for parent-teacher conferences.
And boy do you enchant the librarian. “Books! The best weapons in the world!”
3. At the conference, the teacher mentions your kid’s keen interest in snowglobes.
4. You can succinctly explain your motives.
Why should you trust my opinion about wearing pants? Well…
5. You bought this when you learned you’d be with child.
Anyone who fusses over nap time will be exterminated.
6. Videogames are alright in select cases.
7. Life excites you.
The way you see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. But mostly good.
8. You lead quite the example with Lego.
We all make mistakes, don’t we, K-9? But not with this artful construction.
9. Your bake sale contribution undergoes several regenerations.
Because that crack can’t be a good sign…
12. Your kids’ friends’ parents now expect them to bring bananas to playdates.
13. Brown bag lunches often look like this.
14. Also this.
Still, no crusts! Wow, you are clever.
15. Your kids get super into roleplay.
16. LIke, *super*.
It’s good she doesn’t demand much attention.
17. And their graffiti is immediately incriminating.
19. You teach your kids to love a lot.
As if they had two hearts each.