Edward Smith, aged 63, a self-described mechaphile, said he has held intense sexual feelings for automobiles since he was 14. “I feel a tremendous sense of calm when I am with her,” Smith explained. “No matter how I tell people they are blown away. ‘What’s he do just stick it up the tail pipe?’ That’s all they can think of and the sexual satisfaction it’s not like that. It’s so much more. It’s about making a connection with this car’s spiritual energy. I’ve been with Vanilla for 30 years now. I still get the temptation to pull over the side of the road if I see a really cute car parked. But I don’t want to break my promise to Vanilla to remain faithful to her.”
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