1. Rum Rocks
This drink has only one ingredient: distilled testosterone in a glass. All that ice is doing is cooling the fire rising in the hearts of all females within a 15-foot radius.
Make it: Liberally top your ice with delicious rum.
2. Cuba Libre
Fools say it's watered down, but that would take water. The Libre's so cool, you'll order one and never look back.
Make it: Start as you did with the previous beverage, but this time top it with cola and the juice of two limes.
3. Dark and Stormy
The perfect combination of ginger beer and rum is hugely popular among sailing and generally curmudgeonly communities. Go on, embrace your inner grumpy grandpa.
Make it: Pour two parts rum over ice and top with about another four parts of ginger beer. Garnish with fresh lime juice and sheer anger at anything short of perfect sailing weather.
The Old-Fashioned's manliness predates and exceeds all drinks that came or ever will come after it. Perfectly engineered to put some hair on your chest. And chin.
Make it: Mix together two teaspoons of sugar, a splash of water, two dashes of Angostura bitters, and a splash of rum. Add some large ice cubes and two parts of rum. Rub an orange peel around the glass rim, squeeze it over your drink, and drop it in — but keep all hairs out.
5. Hemingway Daiquiri
Garden-variety daiquiris taste like vacation and naps, but the blend of juices, rum, and liqueur in this bad boy tastes like punching sharks. Do Papa proud.
Make it: Pour six parts white rum, one part maraschino liqueur, two parts grapefruit juice, three parts lime juice, and three parts simple syrup over ice. Shake everything, strain it, drink it, repeat.
6. Mojito
The mojito's the official beverage of cooling down during swampy summers, but that never stopped anyone from ordering one after working up a sweat in winter.
Make it: Muddle four limes with two teaspoons of caster sugar. Fill the glass halfway with rum, ice, and bruised mint, then top with soda and more ice. Keep your sweat out, but add a mint sprig.
7. Navy Grog
This behemoth's rumored to have been Frank Sinatra's sippin' sauce of choice. And for good reason: Despite carrying three different rums, it's still a smooth punch.
Make it: Shake four parts each of white, demerara, and dark rum; three parts lime juice; three parts white grapefruit juice; and four parts honey syrup with ice. Pour your strained grog over shaved ice, top with club soda, and toast Ol' Blue Eyes.
8. Treacle
Before it was this British take on the old-fashioned, treacles were just golden syrups and old-fashioned poison antidotes. Let its goodness cure what ails you.
Make it: Dissolve 1/2 teaspoon of caster sugar with two dashes of orange bitters and a dash of rum. Stir in ice, two parts rum, and one part apple juice.
9. Zombie Punch
Be careful when getting bitten by these highly contagious undead addictions. They're packing a lot of power.
Make it: Mix together two parts white rum, six parts golden rum, four parts dark rum, two parts 151-proof rum, four parts lime juice, one teaspoon of pineapple juice, one teaspoon of papaya juice, and one teaspoon of superfine sugar, then serve everything over ice.
10. Enter the Dragon
It wasn't in the classic martial arts film of the same name, but this blend of dragon berry rum and ginger ale will make you feel like you have a starring role anyway.
Make it: Lace three parts of dragon berry rum with one part of ginger ale over ice. Garnish with nunchaku or a lime wedge.