1. Because sometimes you’re driving home from work and this happens.
2. Because they think a tree is an appropriate place to eat a popsicle.
3. Because they don’t understand the meaning of “personal space.”
4. Because they insist on being served milk while sitting in a coffee mug.
5. Because they follow you to the laundromat and steal your panties.
7. Because they can’t cycle for more than 30 yards without demanding a pit stop.
9. Because they let their friends convince them to do risky things.
12. Because they are weirdly insistent that you brush your teeth three times a day.
13. Because if the water is too hot or too cold you’ll never hear the goddamned end of it.
14. Because no matter how old they are, they always ask the doctor for a lollipop.
15. Because if you try to have a serious conversation this is how they respond.
16. Because they will attempt to hide your mismatched socks.
17. Because they always want hugs at the most inappropriate times.
18. Because they celebrate Easter in the middle of August for no apparent reason.
19. Because goddamned koalas are always messing up your hair.
Here Are Today's Top Stories
- [Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said that Tropical Storm Erika killed 20 people there, and set the island back 20 years from the damage. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/at-least-5-people-are-missing-after-tropical-storm-erika-thr)
- [Police are investigating the death of Jamycheal Mitchell, 24, who was arrested months ago in Virginia for allegedly stealing about $5 worth of groceries. He was found dead in his jail cell last week. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/black-man-held-for-months-for-stealing-5-worth-of-snacks-fou)
- Owen Labrie was found not guilty of felony sexual assault charges stemming from a 15-year-old former student's accusations that he raped her at St. Paul's School. ›