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15 Zebras That Have Gone Incognito

Did you know that zebras often assume secret identities to do sneaky zebra stuff? If you are like me and harbor a secret fear of being spied upon by equines, here’s a handy guide to exposing zebras in disguise.

1. Zebras think they are soooooo smart, but this guy basically rubbed down his coat with a mixture of charcoal and water.

2. Oh, and white pancake concealer can be purchased at any high-end cosmetics store. Sorry, zebra, you are not fooling anyone.

3. That is a very convincing dog mask, but this zebra really should have put more effort into the rest of his costume.

4. This is the goddamned worst. This is how zebras know all about your love life. Pro-tip: check the mattress for extraneous tails. Actual beds don’t have them.

5. This one is a little confusing, so follow along carefully. You ready? This is a zebra pretending to be a person wearing a FREAKING ZEBRA COSTUME.

6. Gneiss has a relative hardness of 5.5 on the Mohs scale. Zebras have a hardness of 1 or less. Don’t be afraid to whip out the scratch plate if you think you’re dealing with a zebra.

7. On one hand, I think the actual floating thing is a nice touch, but all it takes is a comparison with any other hot air balloon to suss out the zebra.

8. This zebra was going for “human hand” but did such a shitty job concealing its stripes that I’m not going to comment further on how I identified him.

9. Again, the stripes are a dead giveaway.

10. Cuddly stuffed toy? I THINK NOT. Brand name toys have tags, sometimes with convenient washing instructions. Do your research, lazy zebra.

11. Just look at this bullshit. Who in their right mind would actually believe this is a skunk?

12. So, pretending to be cars is an actual thing zebras do. ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHECK THE TIRES. And remember, real cars have hubcaps; zebras have hooves.

13. This is the stupidest zebra disguise of all time. Don’t even bother checking to see if this is a zebra. Just run the hell away.

14. NICE TRY, ZEBRA. REAL HUMAN CHILDREN ARE EXCITED TO BE AT PARTIES.

15. This again!? FFS. With a little bit of scrubbing to remove the makeup and the hair extensions…

…The deception is revealed.

Booyakasha!

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