1. Hmm. You haven’t been on BuzzFeed for a couple days.
I guess I’ll check on my posts.
I have eighty. Thousand. Views.
4. A staff member must have boosted me up!
I love BuzzFeed so much.
5. You feel like crying. Or vomiting. Or singing.
You don’t care. You’re just in love with the mysterious staff member.
Shout out to you, whoever you are.
6. You go and tell your mom and your dad and your brother Jeff and your Dog Jasper and all four of your cats.
You’ll be so excited you’ll be dancing.
7. But it’s likely they won’t give a sh*t.
“We’ve heard you a million times!”