Cat Stew For Those Cold Winter Days

When it's grey, wet and windy, there's only one remedy — a warm bowl of cat stew. Here's how to make one.

Catch a cat.

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This is fairly easy - just set out a colander, and wait for an unsuspecting cat to step in. Then you can grab the colander, cat and all, and carry it to the pot.

If you have company, catch more cats.

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Large or small, it is best to have one cat or kitten per person.

You can also harvest your own cat.

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If you are into home gardening, you can just harvest a cat from one of your flower pots.

This one is a little overgrown.

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Should have been harvested much earlier.

Dogs don't make good stews

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Don't be fooled by the innocent look.

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Because they will do this.

Let curiosity kill the cat.

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Put a pot on the floor; the cat's nature will do the rest. I recommend earthenware pots; they are much more appealing to cats, and retain heat better than metal ones.

The stew is not ready yet.

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The ears are perked, the tail is arched. You must wait a bit more for the cat to become soft and mushy.

Don't let it spill over, though.

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Cooked to perfection

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Add more cats as necessary.

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The more the better.

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10 minutes later...

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Done! Enjoy!