23 Signs You’re In Utah

Looks as though you’ve crossed into Utah without even realizing it. Don’t panic. We’ll get through this.

1. Uh oh. You’re about to hit the state line. Quick, get as many real beers as you can carry.

2. Missed your chance? Don’t worry, Utah has a huge selection of alcohol-free alcohols.

3. If you’re feeling naughty, they have the harder stuff too. You know, like Bud Light.

4. There are other great options too though. Try bringing a pony keg of root beer to your next party. You’ll be a hit for sure.

5. Seriously though, there’s real beer in Utah too. You’ll be fine.

6. If you get really desperate, the Canyon Inn is there for you.

7. Utah can actually be pretty cool. Check out this typical Utah teen.

8. And the students over at BYU are always looking to have a good time. As long as it’s totally on the level.

9. Just ask this guy:

10. You could always go catch a movie! (Avoid the movies with too much cursing though. That’s frowned upon around here.)

11. In fact, just avoid cursing all together. This isn’t Las Vegas.

12. Slow down, Dale Earnhardt. We try to keep the roadways safe around here.

13. Let’s maybe rethink this whole driving this altogether.

14. Actually, driving in Utah is great. You’re gonna meet a lot of friendly on the roads. Like, A LOT of people.

 

15. Ha. Look at the monogamist over here. Who are you trying to impress, dude?

16. If you “H8 snow,” maybe Utah isn’t the place for you. Seems like you’re more of the Arizona type.

17. No time for church? No problem!

18. If you do have time, you can always get in a game of pick-up while you’re there. Just follow the rules. This is Utah, after all.

19. Seriously, just follow the rules. Okay? There are a lot of them, but they’re there for a reason.

20. If you’re hungry, you could always swing by the Burger King. (Unless you’re allergic to goats. That’s going to be a problem.)

21. (Goats are kind of a thing around here. Get used to that.)

 

22. Or you could always grab a burrito from one of Utah’s many carne asada vending machines. You read that right.

23. Keep an eye out for a disheveled Mitt Romney. He hangs around a lot. We can’t really get him to leave.

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