1. We DEFINITELY can't all wear one sock, no pants, have one long arm, and no head:
2. ...Oh wait:
3. We can't all have a stick with two pegs instead of legs to keep our dresses on:
4. We can't all have smooth, pore-less skin (or scary, horror arms):
5. We can't all have tiny heads and giant bodies:
6. We can't all have eyes placed in random, upsetting spots on our faces, Mattel:
7. We can't all have awesome, bronze eagle heads:
(No matter how much we wish we did.)
8. We can't all have actual animal heads either:
9. We can't all have long, nightmarish bodies, F-150 owners:
10. Not all men can be just a head and legs:
11. Or women:
12. We can't all be 3-foot goblin monsters:
13. We can't all have giant mouths, pendulous breasts, and what appears to be half a vagina:
14. We can't all be the leader of the free world:
15. We can't all literally be a hand giving a peace sign with legs:
16. We can't all have perfectly rounded cones instead of heads:
17. We can't all be armless, headless, transparent, and packed with baby parts:
18. We can't all hang upside-down in floral-print dresses:
19. And we can't all walk around like the weight of the world rests on our shoulders:
