1. Inappropriately Small Swimsuits
It seems that the only people you ever see in small swimsuits are people who can’t really pull off the look (can anyone pull off the look?)
Not only do sunburns hurt, they make you look ridiculous too.
3. Sand In Your Suit
Everybody hates getting sand in their swim suit (except this guy)
4. Other People
Beaches are full of people, and sometimes people can do some pretty questionable stuff, like unabashedly dry hump in front of you and your kids.
Crabs live on the beach, and crabs are mean as hell.
6. Dead Whales
Dead whales wash up on beaches all the time. And usually they’re too big to do anything with, so they just sit there and rot in the sun. (Except when they blow them up)
7. The Mankini
Borat popularized the infamous mankini, and now there is a chance, however remote, that you may see one while your sunning yourself, and that is something that you cannot unsee.
There is always the risk that while you are enjoying yourself at the beach, some weird dude might come along and “accidentally” jam his face in your butt.
9. Donkeys With Boners Watching You
I hear this happens a lot more than most people think it does.
10. Lady GaGa Might Be Having Sex There
Apparently Lady GaGa has sex on beaches. Probably not on any beach you would be visiting, but why take the chance?