1. If it's been a while since you've played a Pokemon game, there's a few things you should know before you get going.
2. The game has come a long way since Pokemon Red and Blue! Look, your mom doesn't sleep in the kitchen anymore!
3. If you're under 18, you're going to want to ask your parents for permission before you play. Things get pretty raunchy.
4. Now I know you're excited, but try to stay calm.
5. Try to find some friends to play with!
6. Be careful when setting your nickname. With great power comes great responsibility.
7. That is, if you can even get these fascists to accept a nickname.
8. You can let the game come up with one for you, but they're going to make some assumptions that you may not be able to live up to.
9. ...If you say so.
10. Choose your starters well. You're going to want a well-rounded team.
11. Actually, the games are full of tough choices.
12. There's also this cool new touch feature. Use it wisely.
13. Or not. Your call.
14. Stop it!
15. Don't worry, you'll still run into plenty of old friends.
16. And some new enemies.
17. Like this jerk.
18. You're going to meet some interesting trainers along the way. Like this one who seems to have forgotten that this is an all-ages game.
19. And this trainer who is maybe a little too into his pokemon...
20. And this trainer who is maybe a little too into eating meals with men.
21. Actually, you'll probably end up relating more to Snorlax than the other trainers.
22. Whatever you do, don't take any fashion advice from Pokemon X & Y.
23. Some of the jokes are going to seem racist, but if you read them again, you'll see that they're just corny.
24. Really corny.
