The 24 Easiest Ways To Get Banned From Club Penguin

Disney’s interactive chat game, Club Penguin, is recommended for “kids ages 6 to 14.” Apparently kids ages 6 to 14 don’t know how to have any f***ing fun.

1. Cannibalism:

2. Making advances on a minor:

3. Inappropriate humor:


4. Inappropriate humor AND making advances on a minor:

5. And because nobody gets your humor:

6. Your spidey sense was too accurate:

7. Pointing out the difference between a pizza and a milkshake:

8. What honestly seemed like pretty subtle innuendo:

9. Asking racists where they shop:

10. Just trying to make a little money:

11. Singing your favorite ICP songs:

12. Feminism:

13. Commenting on the number of purple penguins:

14. Blowing a secret agent’s cover:


15. Teaching kid’s tough lessons:


16. Politely asking not to be interrupted:


17. Coming on too strong:

18. Never Learning How To Swim:

19. Talking about the pig orange penguin:

20. Calling Purple on his bullshit:


21. Naming your penguin “vagd3str0y3r”:

22. Trying to help someone who is struggling with weight issues:


23. Calling Club Penguin a “chode fest”:

24. And of course, using the “s” word:

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