23 Reasons Spring Is The Absolute Worst

Get out of the game, spring.

1. Spring is essentially just shitty summer.

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2. The weather can never decide what the hell it wants to do.

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3. The melting snow reveals so many forgotten secrets.

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4. Nobody can get their AC game right.

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5. It never stops raining.

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6. At the first sign of good weather, every public place is packed with people.

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7. Where the hell did all these bugs come from?

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8. And these goddamned birds!?

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9. Allergies will destroy you.

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10. The only thing worst than allergies is allergy tests.

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11. You have to start mowing the lawn again…

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12. …and spring cleaning is a nightmare.

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13. It’s the shitty daylight savings time switch.

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14. You’ve got to start getting back in shape…

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15. …and shaving your legs again…

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16. …and for some reason everyone thinks it’s a good idea to start wearing flip-flops.

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17. You always seem to be stuck inside when it’s nicest outside.

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18. Spring break is a joke.

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19. But thanks to mid-season replacements, so is staying in and watching TV.

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20. If you do go outside, there are suddenly Frisbees flying fucking everywhere…

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21. …and those terrible-smelling trees everywhere…

(PS: Those are Bradford pear trees, aka semen trees.)

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22. …and it’s so humid that you don’t want to stay out for long.

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23. Not to mention that it’s tornado season.

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In conclusion, spring sucks. Call me when it’s summer.

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