24 Signs You’ve Been Single For Too Long

It’s probably time to dust off that old OKCupid profile.

1. Your dad has mistaken the sound of you eating noodles alone in your room before:

2. When you go out to eat, the hostess shows you to the single-occupancy table:

3. Your “bae” has caught you “slipping” before:

4. This has happened to you before:

5. You’ve thought to yourself, Who needs friends when you have crash test dummies?

6. You’ve got season tickets for this seat:

7. You find yourself in this aisle at Target more than you’d like:

8. You’ve been caught sitting totally alone in an empty auditorium, watching Space Jam by yourself:

9. This is your car:

10. You carry the telltale mark of a person who had to apply their own sunscreen:

11. You go to elaborate measures for the sake of your Instagram feed:

12. You spend a lot of time sitting alone at bars:

13. The parks department had this bench put in just for you:

14. You got this as a gift two years ago and it’s been sitting there like this ever since:

15. You find yourself going stag more often than not:

16. The last friend request you got was from a packet of taco sauce:

17. You’re in a deep, meaningful relationship with the woman from your GPS:

18. You have to hold the cat in family photos:

19. You spend WAY too much time with mannequins at the mall:

20. This book gets more use than you’d prefer:

21. This is the last kiss you received:

22. You see this as a viable option if things get too dire around Valentine’s Day:


23. You live your life according to these four words:

24. You are Rian:

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